How the hell are you doing out there in ISU land. School sucks, right? I know.

But every now and then we get those days where we are so happy to be alive. Today is one of those days for me.

Tonight I will accompany Mr. Moss to the Metallica show. Yes, it’s true, they sold out, I know.

But I figure the group plays for nearly three hours.

The “Load” of crap disk is only 40-some minutes long. The group has to play its old tunes. Which are, subsequently, its good tunes.

I was thinking the other day about Metallica, and I realized that it reminds me of the Nebraska Cornhuskers in many ways. The group once was pure (Kill ‘Em All) but then it sold out (Load).

The Huskers once were pure (Early 60’s), but then they sold out (Lawrence Phillips).

The Huskers are called the “black” shirts. Metallica released the “black” album.

Both are legends of their respective fields, but both have a lot of questions to answer as to why they are running their current campaigns in such a disrespectful manner.

In fact, I heard a rumor that the Nebraska Cornhuskers and Metallica are the same entity. Much like God the father, God the son and God the holy ghost.

Now I have a pretty active imagination, but I give no credit to this rumor solely because I don’t believe that anybody on the Nebraska football team can sing or play guitar like Kirk Hammett or James Hetfield.

But I was onto something. I realized that there are other bands currently topping the charts that have strange resemblances to Big 12 teams.

Take Kansas for instance. Think Jayhawks and then think of the band “Hole.” Do you know what they have in common? I hate them both! The coincidence is eerie don’t you think?

Then came the Colorado Buffaloes. Now, think Buffaloes and then think Beck. Then think of the Colorado game versus Kansas. Beck’s biggest hit is the tune entitled “Loser.”

Colorado lost, hence they are considered losers. Isn’t this just strange? I’m really freaked out right now. I mean, this is like the twilight zone.

Then comes Iowa State. Now think of Pantera. Both kick much ass! Is this or is this not the most peculiar coincidence that you have ever read about.

I mean, what are the odds of all the things that these teams have in common with the big-time bands of the scene. This is scary. That’s what this is. This is scary.

What does this all mean? I really don’t know, but I plan to follow it all up with some future research and a can of beer. Not just any beer. You know what kind of beer I’m talking about. Anyway.

Enjoy your day, cheer on the ‘Clones and don’t get too wasted at Metallica.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a junior in journalism from Persia, Iowa. He is the sports editor of the Daily. Chad has been known to be genuinely funny at times.