Some traditions I could do without, like eating oyster stew on Christmas Eve (blech) or not allowing women to become priests. However, some traditions should simply not be messed with, especially when they deal with matters of national security. I think you all know what I’m talking about — Superman’s new uniform.

How can the comic book writers take it upon themselves to change a part of American culture that has been as standard as apple pie for who knows how many years? Granted, I may not be an avid reader of Superman comic books, but I can’t help but wonder what kind of effect this is going to have on people.

If there’s trouble brewing and the heralded hero swoops in to help out, no one will pay any attention to him because they won’t recognize the guy.

“Who’s the freak in the blue and white get-up?” people will say, “And where the heck is Superman?”

I don’t think people will know it’s him if he isn’t sporting his typical red, blue and yellow costume. This new and improved capeless Superman in the snazzy blue and white outfit with the white, lightening-like “S” on his chest will be unfamiliar and therefore unaccepted.

If he isn’t accepted as the super hero that he is, he won’t be able to do his job effectively. So basically he’ll be about as helpful as your average comic book policeman. If this occurs, the police force will probably be happy that they’ll actually get a chance to solve crimes again. Have you noticed that in a super hero neighborhood, such as Gotham City, the policemen and women can never seem to get anything done without the help of someone like Superman?

They must go home after a day’s work feeling a little sheepish. “How was your day, honey?”

“Well, I was chasing a burglar down the street when I tripped on some oranges that fell out of a fruit cart that he tipped over. Then after my partner drove our car into a semi carrying a bunch of chickens, Superman caught the thief and gave us a ride back to the station.”

You would think that the whole perception of Superman’s personality would change once people discovered that he had a uniform change. Since when does one of the nation’s top super heroes have time to worry about appearances? All of a sudden it’s a top priority with him. “Lois, do these tights go with this cape? Should I start wearing boxers, or should I stay with the red briefs?”

Or if someone was trying to change his image without his consent, why didn’t he have enough balls to stand up to them and tell them he liked his blue tights the way they were? A guy nicknamed the “Man of Steel” should really have no trouble getting whatever he wants. I think he should have put his foot down.

A difference in uniform is apparently not the only difference in his new image. Superman has had a major attitude adjustment. Instead of saving lives and helping others just for the good of man, he just does it because it’s his duty.

Gone is the kind, caring hero we once knew. He has been replaced by a cold, calculating man, who is more machine-like than human. He is made of pure energy, so bullets go straight through him, without even causing a scratch. It’s great that he’s stronger and more powerful and all that. But would we rather have a guy who is really, really, really hard to kill but isn’t very nice, or a guy who is pretty tough to knock off and still has a good personality.

That’s a good question to ask Lois Lane, who finally tied the knot with Superman. Perhaps that could be part of the problem, too. A brand new wife, new environment, new powers, it was bound to happen. Maybe Lois’s mother agreed to pay for the wedding only if she could get him to stop wearing tights to family gatherings?

The most likely reason Superman went through a change is because in the marketing industry, it seems that different always equals better. People are always looking for something new, something improved, something to raise revenue.

As for me, I’ll be looking forward to wearing blue tights and a red cape while running in the rec center. (Somebody had to get some use out of it.)

Joanne Roepke is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Aurora.