The Green Bay Packers are everywhere you go, and everyone around here is hoping they win Super Bowl XXXI.

Last year it seems as if there were Dallas Cowboys jackets everywhere you looked, but, as if by magic, Packers jackets can be seen in their place. Not to mention a few Iowan cheeseheads.

By the way, if Iowa wore foam hats at sporting games, what would the product be? Pork?

We’d all be sitting at Iowa Barnstormer games wearing foam pigheads. (Pighead is now officially one word. I figure that someone has to make these decisions, and so I have named myself the leading official on terms involving the word “head.”)

The lack of Cowboys paraphernalia is probably due to embarrassment. I mean, would you want to display the logo of a team of criminals? I would, because I’m a Cowboys fan. I root for the bad guys when I’m at the movies and cheer when the cops crash their cars. Welcome to my annual Super Bowl column.

Last year I predicted the Cowboys to win, and I was right. But this year I’m going against the grain. I’m bucking the system. I’m zigging and when everyone is zagging. Put away those Packer jackets, because the Factoid Ferkmeister is going out on a limb.

This is the year of the AFC upset. This is the year the Tuna lands in the record books by winning Super Bowls with two different teams. The Pats will beat the Pack by four in the most thrilling Super Bowl since Bill Parcells and his New York Giants beat the Buffalo Bills in 1991 when Scott Norwood, the Bills’ kicker, missed a last second field goal.

Near the end the Pack will need to score, but a field goal won’t cut it. They’ll need to get in the end zone and New England’s defense will win it by stopping the Pack’s attack. Final score: 21-17.

Sorry Reggie White, no championship for you. Better luck next year.

What kind of nickname is “The Tuna?” Someone tell me how Parcells got it?

Parcells is dead set on winning the game. He and his team are serious. Holmgren and the Pack seem giddy. Holmgren is already dreaming of getting a street named for him in Green Bay. He’s got to win first.

An example of Parcells lack of jubilance is his after-game speech. He gathered his players, hushed them and said: “Be here at 9:30 tomorrow to run.” No sentimental talk, no words about making history, nothing concerning the This-Will-Be-The-Most-Important-Event-Of-Your-Lives gab. Just work, baby.

I like that attitude. Hard work is how you get ahead. Actions speak louder than words.

I’ll bet the Patriots come out throwing, and they’ll score first. And second. Brett Favre will come out crazy, playing wild unproductive football for the first quarter. Everyone tells him he’s a little too pumped up at the start of games. He doesn’t start playing better until he settles down, they say.

But he’s going to be working hard on not getting too wild at the start, and Favre won’t be his normal self. And in the Super Bowl, it’s important to score first and have the psychological advantage. The Pack will spend itself trying to catch up, but the underrated Patriots’ defense will perform like it has throughout the playoffs AND KICK BUTT!

So you Iowans who claim you’ve been a Packers fan for all these years since Super Bowl II can take off the cheeseheads, get your Cowboys jackets out of the closet, or else switch to being a Patriots fan now and save some face.

Curtis “Run All Over You and You Won’t Know It” Martin will have a field day. The experts say the Packers need to stop the run, stop the run, stop the run, but when the Pats aren’t riding high on Drew Bledsoe’s arm, they will slowly crunch Green Bay’s defense. Remember, the Tuna is the master of the smashmouth offense.

Just imagine the Pats as a big steamroller slowly crushing Reggie White and the Packers. And Drew Bledsoe is driving.

The Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event of the year, because in this sport the players don’t kick photographers in the nads. (NBA)

In this sport coaches don’t throw chairs across the field. (NCAA)

And in this sport the fans don’t get to catch the ball and win the game for their team. (MLB)

Oh, and in this form of the sport Troy Davis would have won the MVP, even if he were on a losing team.

In this sport J.C. Leimbach is not a referee! How did Leimbach, from clear across the court, call a foul on Klay Edwards in the Colorado game? Did you know Leimbach has kicked Johnny Orr out of a game before? I think this ref has had it in for ISU for some time.

Don’t worry Tim Floyd, the fans are still behind you. Let’s come back and kick some Big 12 buttski.

Go Pats. Go Clones.

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Tim Frerking is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Pomeroy. He is the opinion editor for the Daily.