As I sit here staring at my computer monitor, there are so many ideas bouncing around my little head on what to write about this week.

So much went on last week, here’s just a short little recount of everything that happened:

I managed to dodge the bookstore long enough to only have to wait about 10 minutes to buy my books.

As nice as that was, I also managed to miss a few assignments because I did not have the books to do so.

I think it was an honest trade-off. To stand in line at the bookstore is one of the greatest frustrations that I have come across.

Even in the measly little line that I stood in I got behind a guy who, after the nice girl rang up all of his books, discovered he was $120 dollars short. $120!

What college student can be off that much in an estimation? So he had to run out to the ATM machine to get more.

His ridiculous and stupid actions caused me to have to stand there bundled in my Iditerod, Antarctica, wear so many layers so you don’t freeze outside but you know once you get to class the room will be unbelievably hot, outfit, drowning in my own sweat.

Possibly one of the worst parts about the Iowa winter is getting all dressed up in your Randy from the Christmas Story outfit only to be forced to do a dance to take it all off once you get to class.

Your only chance is to get to class early so there aren’t a lot of people there to see you do this crazy bit of contortionism.

If you walk in late, you’re dead. You just know everyone is watching as you shimmy out of your coat, knock the books off the desk of the person sitting next to you, hitting them with your bag, and finally coming to rest in a heap in your chair.

I also discovered this week that it is never too cold for some people to stand in line for an FAC. I was stunned as I watched a line of people jump around, cover their ears and do anything possible to stay warm last Friday.

I admire them for their dedication to the almighty beer, but at the same time, question their intelligence.

Further continuing my higher education, I discovered that a seemingly positive thing like going to the rec center to play a little basketball can have a huge impact on your life.

I was fortunate enough to have my wallet removed from my possession as I dribbled down the court that day, which began the horrible process of calling everywhere and trying to put my life back together.

So a little message to whomever is carrying around a wallet with a driver’s license photo that looks almost as bad as the picture that runs with this column, feel free to return it to the rec center so I can pick it up and move on with my life.

It’s funny how many extra things your college tuition buys you. So many experiences that can only be described in one way: Laughable.

It becomes my job to point out all of these crazy little nuances just to keep my own sanity.

Even as I walked to the office in the fog yesterday, my day was brightened by Ministry’s “Jesus Built My Hot Rod” blaring from a dorm window followed by a guy who said, “Hey man I really dig this soils class I’m takin’.”

There’s always something.

It’s like these MTV shelters in Des Moines. If there are people out there who feel that their respiratory systems will shut down if they don’t catch the latest episode of “Road Rules” they are in serious need of a hobby.

If you can’t live without your daily dose of brain numbing garbage, I urge you to seek professional help.

A passing thought to everyone staying at The Union this week, have fun.

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J.R. Grant is a junior in journalism and mass communication from the home of the buckeye, whatever that is.