Life is like a mosh pit in that it is truly amazing how things can change so drastically in such a short period of time.

During one particular day over break, I managed to eat the last tenderloin ever served at one of my favorite restaurants, which was about to shut down. Later that evening, I watched the last hour of MTV shown in Des Moines.

These events don’t seem that significant, but that day was actually very traumatizing.

Fortunately, change isn’t always bad. Take, for instance, my trounce up the corporate ladder to head Lifestyles editor (and no, that’s not a sexual reference).

Now, I realize this new title brings more responsibility. But now that I am officially a sophomore, I feel I can successfully manage to complete the difficult duties of the Lifestyles editor, such as opening large packages of CDs and listening to them.

Anyway, the changes don’t end with our titles. Kris and I have also teamed up to make the Lifestyles page a better reflection of the lifestyles of Iowa State students, hence keeping the name Lifestyles.

Every Tuesday, one of the Lifestyles pages will be especially devoted to fashion. We’re talking clothes, accessories, hair styles, furniture, the whole deal.

We’ve brought in some top reporters to research all of the latest trends, from Buddy Holly glasses to M.C. Hammer pants.

On Thursdays, there will be a designated fitness page, put together mostly by staff members who are into taking care of their bodies (in other words, not me).

You can expect developing stories on some of the most physically active groups on campus, including the newly formed freestyle walking club team.

Also, as the season develops, we may even use the fitness page as a reporting outlet in the weekly Daily vs. Campus Reader basketball (if you can call it that) game. Bring it on, Guru.

I gave a little thought to the idea of some sort of food or cooking page, until I realized there is a limit to the amount of things you can do with Ramen noodles.

Besides, in order to do a cooking page that students would actually read, we would have to give recipes on all of the hot, new mixed drinks.

Seeing as how I am not even 20 years old yet, this would be pretty hard to report on and, not to mention, pretty much defeat the entire purpose of a fitness page.

Our smoothed-out-on-an-R&B-tip local concert coverage that you have grown to love will be back for what looks to be an exciting semester.

With quality acts such as Marilyn Manson, Metallica and Type O Negative coming to town, we could see more than a few surprises.

Rumor has it that Manson plans to reenact his most recent video for “Children Taste Good” on stage, in order to prove to the many parents in the crowd that MTV is not the trashy television channel that TCI claims it to be.

KKDM Battle of the Bands winner Slipknot should also be on hand for the event, representing Iowa’s music scene with their “bloody” stage antics.

Nothing against death metal, but if this is the band that is going to represent Iowa for the next year, I’m moving.

But first, I must take full advantage of my new position by installing some of my other ideas into the Daily.

In my attempt to destroy country music, I will limit our coverage of it this semester and focus more on Local H. You can expect features on the new power duo at least once a week.

My plan to steal columnist Herbert Kornfeld from Wisconsin’s satire newspaper, The Onion, are still in the works. But until they are completed, you can read his column on the Web at theonion.com/onion 3016/badass.html and just pretend you are reading it in the Daily.

And as the final and most impressive new addition to the Lifestyles section, I will now reveal a new section to my column. For the rest of the semester I will end the Moss Pit with a quote from the Bible of journalists, “Ice By Ice.”

“It’s a foundation of breaks, put to a beat, strong as concrete, ’cause I’m rockin’ the beat!”

—Vanilla, giving his definition of rap music

---

Corey Moss is (finally) a sophomore in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. His favorite color is clear.