[Scene: Group therapy session in a room with all white walls, no windows, and people seated in folding chairs arranged in a circle.]

“Hi. My name is Rory Flaherty and I am a recovering Buffalo Bills fan.”

Everyone nods his head and sighs, one man rests his face in his hands. All have gathered for one reason: to put this past football season and yesterday’s Super Bowl behind them.

“It all started back in the days of Jamie Mueller. That was when I was pulled in. Then, it was innocently wearing a red shirt with some blue jeans, maybe a Jim Kelly Topps rookie card for my bookshelf. But before I had realized it, I became immersed in Bills paraphernalia. The Starter jacket. A ball cap with an embroidered Buffalo.”

I hesitated, saving the most grotesque for last.

“Even Zubaz shorts.”

The man to my right began to speak.

“I have been a Dallas Cowboys fan since I was old enough to-“

“ENOUGH!” The moderator shouted from across the room.

Besides getting over our own feelings of insecurities, having pledged our allegiance to downtrodden football teams, we had also gathered to belittle those teams who were fortunate enough to win a Super Bowl in the last five years.

“Those damn expansion teams,” exclaimed another distraught Bills fan. “It’s unfair. Simply unfair.”

The moderator rushed to console the man.

“Let those feeling flow! Be one with your suffering. Recognize that the enemy is not yourself for being so foolhardy in choosing these teams. Bad things always happen to good people.”

The moderator then extended his finger and swung his arm to point at the outsider in the group, the Cowboys fan, and exclaimed, “He is the enemy.”

That was when the meeting had escalated to its climax, as it took four retired linebackers to restrain me from attacking the Cowboys fan. (Actually, that was a bit of an exaggeration. It really took three.)

“All I ever wanted was for the Bills to win a Super Bowl. Is that asking too much?”

“Get a hold of yourself. They’ll come around. Watch them bounce back next year,” the moderator responded.

I knew he was trying his best to talk me down. I loosened my grip on the linebackers. But it was no use. Everyone knew that the bragging rights would belong to the Packers for years to come. They were the new dynasty.

I have found within myself some strength to support the Packers yesterday. Every team has its day. But I am not yet to turn my back. I can never turn my back. That was what all of us took with us from the therapy session. Except Cleveland Browns fans — their disposition was far beyond the helping hand of any psychiatrist.

Hopefully I have brought everyone’s spirits up a bit. And remember, whoever said that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, but rather how you play the game, is a bandwagon fan.

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Rory Flaherty is a junior in construction engineering from Le Mars, Iowa. He is also attempting to be more daring with his writing.