Scene: The bowl committee meetings. The representatives for this year’s bowl games are deciding who to choose for their annual postseason games. Playing the role of the skeptic is the sports editor at the Iowa State Daily.

Orange Bowl Representative: Well … I guess we should take Nebraska. After all, they are the two-time defending national champions.

Skeptic: Uh, but they have two losses, whereas BYU…

Orange Bowl Rep: Bad! Bad acronym! No BYU! No BYU! We want Nebraska! They will bring fans!

Skeptic: But don’t you think BYU…

Orange Bowl Rep: Enough!

Skeptic: …deserves to be in the Alliance? After all, they went 13-1 this season…

Orange Bowl Rep: Stuff it, writer boy. Nebraska it is.

Scene shifts to the Cotton Bowl committee.

Cotton Bowl Rep No. 1: Gee, we got BYU! What a great draw! Now how can we make our other choice really unfair to another team?

Cotton Bowl Rep No. 2: Let’s take Kansas State as the Big 12 team.

Rep. No. 1: Great idea!

Skeptic: What about Colorado? They had the same record as KSU, and they also defeated KSU by the score of 12-0 this season.

Rep. No. 2: Kansas State will pack the stadium full of fans. Colorado will not.

Skeptic: But you guys are slated to take the highest-ranked team from the Big 12 that is still available. Technically, that would be Colorado.

Rep. No. 1: Your presence is requested on the other side of that door. (Points to door. Skeptic ducks KSU-colored pom pons on his way out.)

Scene shifts to Copper Bowl committee.

Copper Bowl Representative: The way I see it, the obvious choice for our matchup involves Wisconsin and Utah.

Skeptic: Hmmm … seems to me Wyoming had a pretty good season. They finished higher in the WAC than Utah. They’re also ranked in the polls.

Copper Bowl Rep: Wyoming Schmyoming. We’re going with the Utes.

Skeptic: Didn’t they lose to Rice?

Copper Bowl Rep: Uh, I don’t think so. (Drums fingers on desk.) Well, even if they did, the Utah basketball team is ranked in the top 10 of the AP poll. We’ll take Utah.

Skeptic: Has nothing to do with fan support?

Copper Bowl Rep: No.

Skeptic: Well, if you’re going to go with the basketball theory, why not take Iowa State? They’re ranked No. 6, you know.

Copper Bowl Rep: The Cyclones? (Rubs forehead) That Willoughby guy is smooth out there.

Skeptic: Forget it.

Copper Bowl Rep (shouting): Please come to our bowl game! Bring as many fans as you can!

Scene shifts to lobby area. Skeptic is stretched out on a sofa, clearly dazed.

Skeptic: So the bowl games aren’t about the best teams after all. All this time, I tried to imagine it was more wholesome than this. But after this year’s bowl selections, my eyes are wide open. It’s a sham.

Curtain falls.

Yeah, who needs a playoff system?

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Christopher Clair is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Waukon. He is the sports editor at the Daily.