The holiday season is nearing, and I find that I wax poetic… Twice. Enjoy.

‘Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas where all through the land,

Nintendo and Tyco had laid out their plans.

The shoppers were poised in stores everywhere, in hopes that The Toys soon would be there.

The children were whining, having wheedled and pled, while visions of Mario danced in their heads;

The big boys in marketing, after promising ease, knew they’d clean up, if they didn’t appease.

And when in the streets there arose such a ruckus, CEO’s all were grinning: “It’s working! They’re suckers!”

Away to the stores the shoppers were packing, lined up at the doors, braced to start sacking.

The mailings and TV spots were fresh in their minds, they’d been told what they needed, they’d not leave it behind,

They knew it’d be tough; they knew it’d be crude, Nintendo had warned them — there were only a few,

Elmo had waited (been around since last June), to let his shelf empty would be such a boon.

All they needed was one historical lesson to prove yet again to be a great blessing.

The country had shown, thanks to some fuel, to create some demand, short supply was the rule.

We have none! We want some! We will and we must! Our children are On High! It’s The toys or Bust!

As Corporate Heads will, when faced with a crisis, play all Samaritans (and then, what the price is).

Shocked and concerned, they nod and they mutter, “How tragic! Poor children!”, they all will utter,

What can be done for the poor little tikes?

‘Tis two weeks ’til Christmas! Oh, such a plight!Their heads, how they nodded!

Their brains, how they plodded!

Around all the tables their fingers were drumming, while out in the office, calculators were humming.

They ordered some lunch then furrowed their brows, then winked to each other and jumped to say, “Now!”

To all they announce, “How this happened, we know not, but Elmos for children, simply must be got!

“In order, because you have no time to wait, we will get some from China, by special air-freight!

“We couldn’t have planned this. It’s really quite true, but get more we will (though only a few).”

The mothers are bleary from standing in line and then once inside, “There are none at this time.”

To speak not a word — having done so much work, ‘twould take more than sainthood to not scream, “You jerk!”

And too, there’s a chorus, in stores numbered few: of slapping and screaming, “I will have it, not you!” But hark! Hear the boardrooms call out with delight:

“Happy Christmas to all,

“And to all a good night!”

---

‘Twas the Night Before Finals…

‘Tis six days ’til it’s over

when all through the ranks,

All the students are testing

and draining their banks.

The grades will be posted

by number to show,

If all is for naught, or if all is a go.

The students are packing

and longing for sleep,

But closer and closer

the holidays creep.

Since school has come first

mostly we’re busted,

Since our cards are all maxed

we beg to be trusted.

Scraping and scratching,

we raise and we muster,

And not let the holidays lose any luster.

To receive is not issue, ’tis the better to give,

To the many we like — right here where we live.

Not to mention the many we’ll give far away, in spite of not knowing just how we will pay.

Yet shopping you’ll do — you’re noble and brave, and I’ll not so be foolish to rant and to rave.

So after you’ve ventured out into the fray,

Before you are finished with your shopping day,

Though we may seem to have not,

somewhere near is a small one,

Who has less than we; yes, that’s right,

less than ‘our’ none.

Spendy toys aren’t the key, it matters not what we buy,

For a child it takes little to make a day fly.

Now I have one more wish before I am done,

To be safe —

watch the shoppers —

so you can Run!

Merry Christmas!

---

Audrae Jones is a senior in English from Clear Lake.