Well, scrooge you too

J.R. Grant

Well it would not be proper to start out this column without a welcome back.

I hope everyone had a nice break full of relaxing, eating and more relaxing.

In the midst of the Thanksgiving break I came to realize how much parents put up with when we come home.

Number one, the washing machine never stopped. It was on an endless spin cycle that must have logged around 700 miles over the course of the week.

On top of that, there is the food that mom made especially for you because you were home.

So I will now say “Thank You!” to all of the mothers out there that helped make this break so wonderful.

Now on with the column.

Is it just me or is today one of those days that you don’t want to get out of bed?

Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s the fact that it is almost dead week. Maybe it’s the fact that we just got off of break, or maybe it’s the fact that we are knee deep in the holiday season.

Ah the holidays. A time of gifts and giving, exams and snow. I think the holiday season comes earlier and earlier every year.

If the current trend continues the malls will soon be decking the halls around Labor Day and the idea of a white Christmas is out the window.

The scary thing about our society’s rush to get to the holidays is the fact that the transition between the regular mall and the Holiday Festival takes place virtually over night.

One day the malls are filled with bare walls and elevator music. The next day everything is transformed into a three-ring circus of the stars complete with flashing lights, dancing elves, hundreds of Christmas trees, snow men, blaring Christmas music and the main attraction: the guy dressed up as Santa.

I think one of the reasons the malls seem so crowded is because they have barricaded the walkways with every type of decoration known to man as well as some decorations that aren’t.

We, as victims of this well-oiled capitalistic machine, are forced to fight our way through the crowd with machetes looking for the perfect gift.

You know the gift. You saw it in the catalog just the other day and it should be right around the corner. But this is not the case. The ghosts of Christmas present know that you are looking for this gift so they have hidden it away, back behind a service counter, under a Christmas tree with mechanical elves that are singing “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” in that annoying Wizard of Oz munchkin voice, so that it is nearly impossible to find.

As you battle your way back to this secret section of the store you are accosted by every cheerful little sales person within a three-mile radius trying desperately to earn those commission dollars.

Each salesperson is showing you his best holiday smile even though they are probably more fed up with this whole charade than you are.

The voices echo in your sleep “can I help you… Can I Help You?… CAN I HELP YOU?”

But before you are thrown into this Christmas jungle, you can sleep well knowing that first you must survive finals week. It is all a delicate balance. Until next time, have a good week.


J.R. Grant is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.