I would like to add my two cents to the same-sex marriage controversy.

During our 25 years as a heterosexual couple, my husband and I have had wonderful friends who are in same-sex relationships.

We think if you would interview some of these people, you would find that true love, understanding and devotion are prevalent.

Yes, you might also find some militancy, but how many other people on our planet struggle with discrimination, feel the need to defend themselves and sometimes become militant?

Homosexual people have weathered physical attack, legal battles, loss of self-esteem, loss of jobs of every sort and familial punishment to the point of denunciation.

Those who pound the pulpit using the Bible to excommunicate homosexuals are denying God’s primary messages.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “Love thy neighbor as you would love yourself.”

Other biblical quotes have been twisted to justify hate and violence against same-sex relationships.

How far does America have to go with its paranoia? The issue goes straight to the fears that heterosexual people harbor. “They (the homosexual community) caused the AIDS epidemic and they deserve it.” Any sane person knows that isn’t true. Research it and find out for yourselves.

Also at issue is the statement: “We are afraid they are going to want special rights, so just in case they do, let’s pass a law saying they can’t have any!” What “special rights?” Those that are afforded to every other “law abiding” citizen? A good job, a nice house, a friendly neighborhood … a friendly, accepting world.

In short, all the securities and rights that protect us all under the Constitution.

We have two special “daughters” that we adopted under seemingly coincidental circumstances. I say “seemingly coincidental” because we believe that we were drawn together for a purpose. We love them very much.

At their “marriage ceremony” (not valid in the eyes of our state’s law), my husband gave the bride away and I stood in as one of the Moms. It was the most beautiful and loving wedding we have ever attended.

We love them because they are loving, giving, talented, and creative, with a great sense of humor. They love our own kids as if they were family, and it is reciprocal. We cannot imagine being afraid of them!

We have had several other homosexual friends in our lives, including two fabulous college professors and two more of the most incredible people we have ever met. They would’ve gotten married if it had been an option.

We are truly blessed to know them. They have suffered extreme torture and emotional pain because of their sexual preference. This has made them who they are, just as we all are shaped by our experiences.

But did our society have to be the one to inflict this pain on them? We should all be ashamed.

There is no such thing as “special rights” unless you’re talking about Affirmative Action, which has also been under intense scrutiny.

How about the right to carry firearms? Or the right to freedom of speech? There are always debates about these issues, with everyone wanting to force their own prejudices and opinions upon them.

Can we stop trying to force our citizens into our own little boxes?

Or can we simply wake up and realize that all any of us really needs, or wants, is to love and be loved.

Mark and Alice Westlund

Canby, Ore.