I take many things for granted — holidays are no exception.

For example, I figure I already know everything I need to about Thanksgiving, especially once I find out who is making the dressing, or who is bringing the green bean casserole, or who is bringing Grandpa B.

There is more to Thanksgiving, of course, and no college education is complete without an excess of trivial information, even if it sometimes requires research.

For instance, I discovered that the first U.S. automobile race took place on Thanksgiving Day, 1895.

This race was between Chicago and Milwaukee; only six of the 80 entries were able to start, and they averaged 5.25 mph. This doesn’t have much to do with turkey tradition, but it was so interesting …

With a little more research, I found an interesting quote by a Mr. Dooley — a fictional Irish saloonkeeper-philosopher created by Finley Peter Dunne, an American humorist and editor in Chicago in the late nineteenth century.

Mr. Dooley said that Thanksgiving ’twas founded by the Puritans to give thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and … we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

I already knew Thanksgiving trivia like the tale of the Indian, Squanto, but I had forgotten about his enslavement by the expedition of John Smith.

Squanto was sold to Spaniards, escaped, then traveled to Great Britain, and from there back to the New World (although, it wasn’t new to him). Here he found his people wiped out by plague and eventually ended up helping the Plymouth Rockians avoid starvation.

So thankful were the Plymouthonians for the first harvest that Gov. William Bradford proclaimed a day of thanksgiving to be shared by the colonists and neighboring Indians.

Isn’t it amazing that before apprentice Americans were even vaguely certain that they would survive there was already a governorship in place? But that would be another topic and column, wouldn’t it?

Looking up the word “thanksgiving” on an electronic database brings up other interesting information as well.

Thanksgiving is often connected with sacrifice, and that is not something we think much about these days, is it? Not, at least, on a life or death level.

Even “modern” humans are sacrificial animals, however.

For example, Christians consider the death of Christ on the cross as an exemplary and perfected sacrifice offered to expiate the sins of humanity.

Some scholars have argued that the forms of sacrificial rituals resemble the structures of human relationships, and that the rituals are therefore symbolic, not only of religious aspirations, but also of the daily lives of those who take part in them.

This sets me to pondering the curious ritual of sacrificing a poor turkey every year. I definitely don’t see the turkey as Christ, or vice versa, but I could see one or two people I know as turkeys. Hmmm…

The origin of communal celebration is a matter of conjecture. Folklorists believe that the first festivals arose because of the anxieties of early peoples who did not understand the forces of nature and wished to placate them.

Now consider that, for our nation’s oldest celebration of gratitude, we have traditionally slaughtered — turkeys. Not something a little more regal, like a bull.

Nor even a cow as a symbol of birth and sustenance, but a bird that will stand in the rain with its head up until it drowns.

An animal you can kill with a tiny tap on the skull from a little bitty stick.

In parts of India, the rat is revered, and I’m thankful I don’t have to eat rats, but at least that animal is resourceful and cunning. A turkey is very likely the dumbest creature ever evolved.

I guess we should be grateful that we understand nature now, or that the Almighty has a good sense of humor.

(By the way, I think the turkey thing spawned from the New England area, so I really should be a little more tolerant. New Englanders are hardy and quite resourceful.

After all, they have survived the incorporation of cranberries as a staple in their diet, and even more unbelievably, actually found uses for pumpkins.)

Back to festivals. As societies change, the characteristics of their traditional festivals and feasts my alter also; new ones emerge as others decline in popularity. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We could use some new holidays.

For example, since men have gotten to do the lion’s share of dedicating holidays, I think it is the woman’s turn. How about a five-day holiday for women? But it should be monthly, and they get to pick the days. Oh yeah, they should also have two weeks to plan ahead, and a week after to recover.

Also, I would like to see a National No Sports On TV Day.

Speaking of men, why is it some men’s birthdays become national holidays, and yet there is no John Wayne Day or Clint Eastwood Day?

Why doesn’t the Vice President get at least a half-day holiday? And, why has there never been a First Lady holiday? Yet, if anyone can change that, Hillary can.

Anyway, this is the season of thankfulness. Since this is my Thanksgiving column, I should get around to what I am thankful for: That the settlers didn’t land in Florida, because alligators are really hard to roast.

I’m also thankful that they didn’t land in Kentucky, because possums may be smarter than turkeys, but they don’t taste like chicken.

And, oh yeah, I am extremely grateful for Thanksgiving. I am afraid without it, all the assignments due December 2 would instead be due November 25.

Happy Slaughter-A-Turkey Day. See you after break.

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Audrae Jones is a senior in English from Clear Lake.