I know what you people out there are thinking.

Why hasn’t Rory, with all his sports knowledge and ability, gone pro yet?

Well, besides the fact I have no sports ability, and little knowledge about sports in general, the main reason I am afraid of going pro, is because of the pitfalls associated with becoming a public figure.

It’s not like I could help out our football team right now or anything, but just because of the fear of attention.

So that is why I have compiled my own top 10 list, for those of you who see pro athletes and campus celebrities as having a life that is a “walk in the park.”

The top 10 pitfalls of being a famous athlete, as compiled by my observances of our campus and the outside professional world.

Number 10: If you don’t have an extraordinary day, say just a better than average day, you did bad. Bad enough to be cut or traded.

An example, though not a severe example, was Troy Davis’s performance against Baylor last week when he had 138 yards. Come on, don’t you know you have to have 400 yards a game to deserve a scholarship?

Number nine: Wherever you go, you stand out in the crowd.

You can’t go to a restaurant without someone picking you out and interrupting you for your autograph.

Number eight: Really bad spinoff items, such as Michael Jordan’s own cologne or flavor of Gatorade.

Number seven: Endorsing products that really suck or have nothing to do with sports, such as the Isotoner gloves by Dan Marino or Krylon spray paint by Johnny Bench.

Number six: Having your picture everywhere, such as on every mug that McDonald’s hands out.

Talk about overexposure.

Number five: If you slip up and do something bad, it is blown out of proportion.

An example of this would be Pete Rose, the gambler. You are then scolded severely by the entire public, and then your football or baseball cards deplete in value by 50 percent, and you never see the Hall of Fame. Drug offenders just get treatment and bounce back.

Number four: Getting really crappy offers for cheap, cheesy movies, or having some awful actor portray you in his next “comeback” film. A very obvious example is O.J. Simpson.

He’s had some lame movies, and in the future, there will probably be a movie made about his knife handling skills, although I don’t know who would play his part.

Number three: Stupid nicknames. Oil Can Boyd, for example. Need I say more?

Number two: You are expected to help out in every natural disaster and disease prevention ad.

How about Wilt Chamberlain on promiscuity and sexual awareness?

And the number one pitfall of being a famous athlete: Everybody wears a knockoff of your jersey. You can’t control who wears your number. I have seen so many Troy Davis jerseys around town that it is sickening.

So now you know why I don’t go pro.

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Rory Flaherty is a junior in construction engineering from LeMars. He will not be turning pro any time soon.