Choosing between friends and family is not a big problem for many of the international students who gathered in Room 248 of the Memorial Union on Wednesday.

The forum, sponsored by the Ames YWCA and in cooperation with International Week, focused on the issues of family and friends. Students and professors gathered to give their observations about the differences between American culture and their own.

The group was small but diverse. Students from Russia, Indonesia, Ethiopia, Japan, Germany, the United States and many other parts of the world shared stories of their own upbringings and ideas of families and friends.

The consensus of the international students was one in which the family was the most important part of their lives, and friends came second.

All of the international students agreed that by going to school they were not only achieving for themselves, but for their families.

“Asian culture is more collective, while United States culture is more individual,” Aung Kyaw Phyo a junior in electrical engineering from Burma said. “Our family goal is more important then friends.”

Yet many times, due to the distance from home, students said when they came to Iowa State the rolls reversed.

“My family is half a globe away, in some aspects you have to rely on friends,” an Indonesian student said.

Many of the students from the United States said the American culture focused more on friends than family and individuals over groups, a fact they hoped would change.

“Children can relate more to their friends than their peers,” an American student from Chicago said.

One student found the idea of individualism corrupting to American society.

“Overall I think the family is starting to erode,” said Jermaine Vesey a junior in marketing from Ethiopia.

“Particularly it’s because of a generation gap,” an American from Boston added.

A few of the students said they thought of the word family in a much broader term than the normal definition of the word.

“Good friends became part of the family,” said Annadu Fawzi a junior from South Africa. “The relationship has gone so far that we don’t even distinguish if they aren’t blood related.”

“Our family goal is more important then friends … but we don’t want to put friends off,” Phyo said. “But friends take the place of family while we’re here.”

Phyo said this type of forum was important because of the “racial tensions that are going on around campus … it’s an issue we need to talk about.”

Giridhar Nandikotkur, a junior from India, said he believes “friends are everyone not family,” and attitudes like respect for parents and society are developed when people are young.

The one-hour forum was led by Sangeeta Parashar the YWCA cultural coordinator. Parashar said the goal of the Ames-ISU YMCA is to “eliminate racism and remove stereotypes.”

The forum was one of many held throughout the week in conjunction with International Week.