Editor’s note: The following is a continuing journal of a fictional college student. It is intended to be a humorous and enjoyable feature about an average Joe. It runs weekly, on Fridays. Though written by Iowa State’s own Scott Jacobson, a Daily staff writer, people, places and events detailed below are not analogous to a real student.

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November 15, 1996

Well, not much to say today.

So there I was Friday night, just getting sillysloppy and wondering what the heck I was going to do with Chelli Saturday night.

I had a couple ideas, but everything had to be just right.

We had been undating for so long that our first real date had to be perfect.

In fact, I think I asked just about every random at the bar what they would do if they were in my position and I’m sure that some of them told me a few good ideas.

Whether I remembered those ideas five minutes after I heard them was a different story.

When I got home, I made myself a bedtime snack of pizza rolls and chocolate milk, turned on “USA Up All Night” and drifted quickly off to sleep.

My slumber was interrupted a half-hour later by the phone and after six or seven rings, I answered it in my sleeping Mufasa voice.

“Hey, it’s Chelli. Were you sleeping?”

Let’s see, I’ll take Stupid Drunk Questions for $600, Alex.

“Did you go out tonight??”

Hot damn, she hit the daily double!

She goes on to tell me that she’s really not that drunk and she just wanted to talk and she didn’t mean to wake me up but she just had to call to say hi and see what I was up to and did I want to talk for a little while?

Now here’s a tough call for a guy lying on a bean bag with his shirt wrapped around his head, one hiking boot on the wrong foot and a chocolate milk stain on his corduroys that have a pepperoni pizza roll in the back pocket.

“Uhhhh … sure.”

So we talked for a while and I managed to only fall asleep a few times during parts where I think she was just talking to herself anyway.

After 45 minutes, I’d heard about her junior high math class and her first speeding ticket and the guy who always put notes in her desk in fourth grade, so I started playing Super Mario just to stay awake.

By this time, my end of the conversation was made up of “Uh Huh,” “Really?” and “Oh, yeah, I understand,” and I was wondering how one girl could talk this much to a guy after a month and a half of silence.

The phone call ended at 5:30 in the morning so I stayed in bed until noon to catch up on beauty sleep before finally giving her a call around three in the afternoon to see what was up.

Her roommate answered and told me something that I didn’t exactly want to hear.

“Well, Chelli got up this morning, took a few aspirin and headed back home for the weekend. She said that if you called to tell you that she’ll take a raincheck until next weekend. She’ll give you a call when she gets back Sunday night.”

Great. I’ll make sure to catch up on my sleep before that.