I’m going to go out on the sacred limb. Nobody else wants to say it, but I will.

The Cyclones will beat Nebraska on Saturday.

You say that there is no way, but I say there is a way. I don’t really know how the boys are going to do it, but I know why they will win. So I will give the top ten reasons why we will beat Nebraska.

First reason: For God’s sake, we are due. It has been a long time since we got a win, and through the powers of the man upstairs, we’ll pull it out.

Second reason: The last time we beat Nebraska was on an even year. Remember the fabled 1992 victory that was led by “Tough Guy” Marv Seiler. Oh yes, his spirit will be with us.

Third reason: In 1992, ISU lost the wacky 50-47 game against Kansas. The Cyclones went on to beat Nebraska 19-10. This season ISU lost to Kansas in a the wacky 34-31 game, which means we’ll beat Nebraska! This makes sense because in the following three seasons after the timeless victory over Nebraska, the Cyclones got drilled by Kansas. But not this year. It was another wacky game this year. This piece of evidence, to me, proves that the Cyclones will win.

Fourth reason: Somebody spoke to me through a burning bush after the Colorado game. I don’t know whom it was, but his voice sounded, well, like this: Chaaaad. Chaaaaaaaaad! The Cyclones will wiiiiiin. Get druuuunk. I think you are coooool. Pamela Anderson will be your wife soooooon!

Like I said, I don’t know who was speaking to me through that burning bush, but his wisdom was well beyond the years of a man with a normal life span.

Fifth reason: Nebraska is evil and the Cyclones are good. Good always overcomes evil. It has been that way since the beginning of time. I know it, you know it, and deep inside, the Cornhuskers know it.

Sixth reason: Lincoln is the capital of Nebraska, as in Abe Lincoln. Abe Lincoln was at the peak of his game before he was gunned down unexpectedly.

The Cornhuskers are peaking right now, not expecting anything. The Cyclones will play the role of John Wilkes Booth and strike down the Lincolnites. Think about it for a second. The Cyclones are from “Ames.”

Seventh reason: Holyfield beat Tyson, proving that anything on this ball we call earth is possible. Holyfield was also quick to thank God for the strength. Put it all together. Burning bush speaks to me, Cyclones good/Nebraska Evil, “Holy”field upsets Tyson. Is it starting to come together for you?

Eighth reason: I’m a firm believer in the idea that hard work pays off. The Cyclones have worked their butts off and they deserve a reward.

Ninth reason: In 1992, I had waffles before the Nebraska/ISU match up. I have not had them since. I will eat waffles Saturday morning. How can we go wrong?

Tenth reason: I woke up today and I could have sworn that I heard a camel snorting the Cyclone fight song. Hey, you can laugh, but that is a sign!

So I’ll see ya there.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Persia. He is the assistant sports editor at the Daily.