Something interesting happened when I took up the subject of this column.

I began to tune in to a cry from the heart of people. I began to see the longing for real fellowship, real belonging, real honesty in places I had never noticed before.

I discovered the desperation for affection and friendships in some of the strangest places.

I think I heard it when a self-described liberal-minded student spoke to me outside of a local bar during homecoming:

“The bar — a place with 60 or 70 people — makes me feel so alone. I find myself feeling more isolated the more crowded the bar becomes. There I am with six of my closest friends — alone. Alone, I sit and watch the other loners, all conversing and yelling like we’re having the best time of our life.

“Not until later do we realize these bars have been sucking the saneness out of our souls.”

I think I have heard the cry from Hollywood as well. Think about the movies and even television. Hollywood has taken its cameras into the private lives of its characters, into the showers and even their bedrooms.

Why does the public respond to this kind of “exposure?”

Is it their desire to be stimulated by explicit scenes? Albeit twisted, I strongly suspect the demand for explicit scenes in movies and on television is an outgrowth of our society’s hunger for affection and true friendships.

We want to know other people personally. We want to be a part of their private world. Hollywood gives us this opportunity on an artificial level. I believe this practice is wrong and destructive, but it is the best Hollywood can do to respond to our nation’s loneliness.

I am writing this column in an attempt to contribute to the restoration of real fellowship, real belonging and real honesty on the Iowa State campus.

As a pastor, it is my desire to lead people into New Testament Christianity. A major dimension of that life is biblical fellowship with Christ Jesus.

As I write, I think of the twenty-something-year-old student who sat in my office not long ago. Though it embarrassed him, he wept like a child.

What was wrong?

Had he just gotten terrible news from his doctor? No.

Did his girlfriend drop him like a hot potato?No.

Had he just failed his midterm test? No.

His tears came as he numbered himself among those who do not have even one truly close friend.

I write this column because of him.

Then there was the student with what seemed a storybook life.

She had everything one could ask for, and yet she struggled with extended periods of depression and loneliness. The great, overshadowing emptiness in her life was in the area of friendship.

I write this column because of her.

I could go on and tell you of the wealthy and the poor, the beautiful and the not-so-lovely, the white and the black (and every shade in between), that struggle in the dark place of friendlessness, I write because the Church and secular society are crying out from loneliness.

We desperately need to tune in to that cry.

I ask you to open your heart and mind (as well as the Holy Bible). Together we can learn how to build and maintain the most meaningful friendship of all.

A friendship with Christ Jesus.

---

Joss Walter is the campus pastor for the First Assembly of God Church.