I don’t see why Billy Corgan just didn’t choose me to come on stage with him last Wednesday. I mean, doesn’t that whole Local H thing build up my credentials a little bit.

I can bet you the night would have gone a lot smoother. Think about it. He gave two rules. “Don’t touch us and don’t touch our shit.” And the chosen ones couldn’t even follow them.

Why do you think he got so depressed all of a sudden? He thought he would be a nice guy and bring some kids on stage to dance with him and what do they do? They break the rules.

If I would have been up there, I guarantee you the entire outcome of the night would have changed. Billy would have been so impressed by my Vanilla Ice shirt he would have taken off his Zero shirt and traded with me.

I probably would have let him have it for a while, you know, just to cheer him up a little.

Anyway, as “1979” began, I would have proceeded to lead Billy, D’Arcy and that dude in the Green Lantern costume through both renditions of the Macarena.

About midway through the tune, I would have looked back at Matt Walker and given him a little wink. Slowly, he would have changed the drum beat, mixing “1979” into “Hey Man, Nice Shot.”

Of course, Billy’s voice would be to high to sing it, so I would have grabbed the mic and gone to town. Inspired by my singing, he would have started up his own mosh pit right on stage.

In short time, Billy would have Green Lantern man in a sleeper hold, chanting “bring on Troy Davis,” while D’Arcy would be backstage taking out a little Garbage (if you know what I mean).

By this time, Billy would be having so much fun he would pick his guitar back up and play a 20 minute encore of “If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands.”

If only that could have been me. Oh well, there’s always Lyle Lovett.

On with The Pit.

The Talking Heads are no longer talking. After ditching singer David Byrne, The Heads went into recording on their own and will release No Talking Just Head this week.

The record was recorded with a number of guest vocalists, including ’80s jam queen Debbie Harry.

Legendary blues singer B.B. King has announced he will follow in Frank Sinatra’s footsteps by recording an album with rock musicians.

Eric Clapton, ZZ Top and Bryan Adams are among the artists already slated for the record.

Central Iowa rockers Slipknot will hold their CD release party Thursday night at the Safari Club in Des Moines. Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. marks the debut record for the masked industrial/metal band.

Slipknot is made up of a drummer, two tribal percussionists, two guitarists, a bassist and a keyboard sample technician. They ask that everyone come to the Halloween show behind a mask.

Smilin’ Jack opens Thursday, while the Cedar Falls trio House of Large Sizes plays the same venue on Saturday.

The Beatles Anthology 3 will be released this Tuesday. The two-CD set of 50 songs, features over two and a half hours of never before heard recordings from the time if The White Album, Let It Be and Abbey Road.

Anthology 3, the third and final chapter of the Anthology series, includes seven tracks from The Beatles rarest private tapes.

Other new releases this week include Mazzy Star’s Among My Swan, Wilco’s Being There, Dee-Lite’s Dancefloor Oddities and Sampladelic Relics, Danzig’s Blackacidevel and George Clinton’s Greatest Funkin’ Hits. Both Coolio and Ice Cube make appearances on Clinton’s latest.

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Corey Moss is a freshman in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale. He is the assistant Lifestyles editor. In celebration of Halloween, he will be donating blood for the first time this week.