My father said to me one day on the phone, “I’m proud of you, Reis. You’ve been accepted into grad school. You’re paying your own way. You’re really doing something with your life. Now of you’d just try not to flaunt your sexuality, you’ll go far!”

With that last sentence my part of the conversation was over. Little did I know it had just begun…

A day in the life of Reis…

I make my way to my Sociology class at 8 a.m. (funny, I seemed to have avoided 8 a.m. classes all five of my undergrad years). Just before class is getting started an unsuspecting classmate asks how my weekend went.

“Fine,” I say.

“What did you do?” he innocently inquired.

“I went out.”

“Out on a date?” as he pushed for more information.

“Yeah, actually,” I replied.

“So, was he cute?” he questioned.

“Actually, she was very nice.” Suddenly, the conversation ends. The professor had not yet begun the class.

I head to the library to do some research on the Defense of Marriage Act. Most of the articles I refer to are found in the Microforms section. When I find what I’m looking for, I fill out a slip of paper so that the woman behind the desk can photocopy my articles. When I return to pick up my articles the women give me a rather uncomfortable stare as she looks me up and down.

After leaving the library, Irun into an acquaintance that I had met through a campus organization.

“Hey, Reis,” she says, “where are you headed in such a hurry?”

“I’m late for work,” I reply.

“Oh, where do you work?” she asks.

“Iwork as a graduate assistant with the LGB Student Services office.” Suddenly, the conversation ends.

I am now at the office. It’s only 11 a.m., and already I have dealt with a troubled student who refuses counseling, a staff member who doesn’t feel that her supervisor would be supportive and fears the loss of her job, a student who studies in my 6-by-15 foot office because that’s the only place he feels comfortable and a few encouraging words from a coworker to reassure me I’m doing the best I can.

It’s finally lunch time. My significant other and I meet on a corner and head into campustown for lunch. I reach down to hold her hand as we cross the street.

The man coming towards us whispers to his friend, “Fucking fags” (and all along I was calling myself a lesbian?!). No worries; Iwasn’t jumped. This time.

My day continued, and I dealt with many more situations with the same outcomes as do most lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgendered folks on a daily basis.

The fact of the matter is, everyday questions that a heterosexual would not even bat an eye at can be discomforting or awkward for an LGBT person to answer. Too often Ideal with heterosexuals who say to me, “I don’t mind if you’re a lesbian. I’d just prefer that you not flaunt it.”

My response is, “Idon’t mind if you’re straight. I’d just prefer that you not show it on TV, display it in public, ask any questions that may reveal your sexual orientation, etc.”

Realistically, who is flaunting what??? If Ihold my partner’s hand on the way to lunch, it’s considered that I’m flaunting my sexuality.

However, if a straight couple were to do the same it would be considered harmless?!

My solution to the problem:

When you ask a question, don’t assume you already know the answer. Be open to an answer against the “heterosexual assumption.”

Don’t run away screaming. Most queer people don’t bite; some heterosexuals do.

And always remember, no matter how subtle you think that you are, you’re not!

The best way to get an honest and sincere answer is to ask an honest and sincere question.

Please feel free to join us just south of the Campanile today at noon for a special “Coming Out Day” rally. An Open House will take place at the LGBSS office located at 210 Student Services Building following the rally.

This evening, following Angela Davis’ speaking engagement, the LGBTA will hold a dance at State Gym.

Everyone is welcome.

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Reis Pearson is a graduate assistant at the LGB Student Services office at Iowa State.