Oh, the environment. It’s a wonderful thing. It gives up air to breath.

It gives us water to drink. It gives us food to eat. It gives shelter. It gives us recreation. It gives us work.

It gives us life.

But the environment, the staple of human existence, is not politically correct.

To protect it, critics argue, is to take away jobs.

To acknowledge, critics argue, it is often to patronize.

To spend money on it, critics argue, is a waste. After all, there are people going hungry, thirsty and cold.

So the environment makes do. It keeps providing in its behind-the-scenes way, careful not to choke too loud on fossil fuel emissions or rub too much ointment on its ozone wounds.

But the sad truth is our ever-faithful, ever-the-team-player, ever-quiet environment is getting old in years.

Clearly, she’s sick. Just how sick, no one, not the best green thumb doctors in the world, know. The scary part is, we can’t agree on a medicine.

Some say we need to ride bikes.

Some say we should reuse our cups. Some say we should power our TVs and VCRs with sunrays and big fans.

Still others have more obscure ideas like studying the ozone damage done by cow farts and the feasibility of sleeping with a buddy to conserve energy.

Why not? A crisis is a crisis and we shouldn’t immediately discount any suggestion.

We take that back. The cow fart thing is really out there.

But those are just suggestions. This is fact: The great state of Iowa — where the pride is the land and the land is the environment — ranks last among these 50 states in per capita spending on the environment.

Not near the bottom or just not close to the top. Last. That’s sad. We claim to be the Heartland. But who’s heart are we talking about?

Certainly not the environment’s. Her heart beats slower and slower and slower.

And apparently Iowans are either incapable or unwilling to help her get better.