I’ve been hearing a lot of negatives about Iowa State football and I’m not sure I like what I’m hearing.

So we’re winless. So what? So Davis should be carrying the ball more. Yeah, I know. But it could be worse. We could all be Huskers instead of Cyclones!

Anyway, I’ve heard a lot of negatives about the offensive play selections. But let’s think about this.

For years Cyclone fans have been enraged about ISU not throwing the ball (a.k.a. Walden).

McCarney wants to open the offense up with the pass, then cram Troy Davis right down their gullet. We have the receivers to do so, but we seem to be struggling.

His plan, in theory, is great. The problem lies in Todd Doxzon. Yeah, I know he played great against Wyoming, but let us not forget that it is a WAC defense.

Doxzon is a reformed option quarterback. He is not a pure passer. The sad thing is that it’s not his fault. He is fairly short, and has a habit of dancing around in the pocket, which is largely due to his past role as an option quarterback.

I truly believe that Doxzon is giving and doing his best. But then again, if Kurt Cobain wanted to be Elvis, it just wouldn’t be possible, even after two years of trying.

McCarney has a great plan, but the wrong guy to execute it. Todd Bandhauer is the man. Trust me on this one. You know, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull’s…….never mind. Just trust me.

Bandhauer is a huge kid with a major league arm. Last season, as a freshman, Bandhauer showed his abilities. Sure, he was rough around the edges, but he stayed in the pocket and fired rockets! Something fierce even!

In the mean time, if McCarney continues to go with Doxzon, we should support both of them. McCarney is paid big bucks to decide what is best for the team, and I’m not paid crap. I don’t have the straight poop.

Doxzon is a Cyclone that has weathered a lot in his stint here, so support him. I’m cool, so support me.

On to the UNI game. My prediction is simple. We kick much behind on Saturday. We’ll rage on those punks. We lean to the left. We’ll lean to the right. We’ll stand up, sit down, fight, fight and fight some more until they are crying for their mommies.

Throw sportsmanship out the window. Get ugly with those Panthers. This is history. This is the last time we’ll ever play this team.

We need to show them, not tell them, the dark place where buffaloes cry. We need to show those damn Panthers where bad folks go when they die (thanks, Kurt). We need to show those UNI-ers the true definitions of the words fist, scar and break. We need to drink much brew before the game; not just any brew, really crappy brew. Brew so bad that is makes you think of Santa Claus beating up your grandmother. Save the Icehouse for after the game. We need to become cannibals! We need to become a tribe of barely civilized mammals. Whoa!

I need to calm myself a touch. What I meant to say was that we really need to show some school spirit. Our boys will be battling, so get behind ’em.

We’ll talk later.

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Chad Calek is a junior in journalism from Persia. He is the assistant sports editor at the Daily.