I was very disappointed last week when the Senate overwhelmingly approved a bill that would prevent federal recognition of same-sex marriages. Not surprised, just disappointed.

Of course, the Republicans were expected to vote for the bill. What disappointed me is that so many Democrats, including Iowa’s Sen. Tom Harkin and President Clinton, supported the bill as well.

The Senate also rejected a bill that would make it illegal to discriminate against homosexuals in hiring.

If you believe the brochures and rhetoric, the Democratic Party is supposed the be the party of open-mindedness and tolerance. The problem is that our Democratic representatives, much like many of the Democratic voters they represent, still get squirmish when it comes to the uncomfortable subject of homosexuality.

This is not like other political issues such as defense spending or school vouchers. When it comes to issues like those, people can just have a difference of opinion, and if you go against the grain of society, you’re just considered wrong.

In America, being homosexual doesn’t simply mean you are wrong, it means there is something wrong with you. Fear of homosexuality is deeply entrenched in our society, and it does not recognize party differences.

The very title of this bill, “The Defense of Marriage Act,” is appalling. The idea that marriage is something that needs to be defended from homosexuals is paranoia run amok.

It’s ridiculous to think that homosexual marriages would destroy the sanctity of marriage when heterosexuals have done a pretty fair job of that already, thank you very much. I’m sure that some of our holier-than-thou leaders who supported this act have been divorced.

Marriage is supposed to be forever, right? That’s what everyone says at their wedding. Isn’t the practice of divorce undermining the sanctity of marriage? Divorce has been practiced by heterosexuals for centuries. Homosexuals didn’t start it.

If you are willing to let the actions of others define what marriage means to you, look around at our society. People marry for money, for status or because it is what society tells people they have to do. Few are lucky enough to find someone they will spend the rest of their life with. Many treat finding a spouse like buying a car.

You find one that looks good, keep it until you get tired of it, then trade it in. And yet, all these marriages are legal. No one would make the argument that they shouldn’t be.

The “family values” pundits love to complain about the high divorce rate in America. But because same-sex marriages are not and never have been legal, you can’t blame homosexuals for the high divorce rate.

So what is the cause? It’s probably a combination of things. Some people marry too young or too soon, and some probably give up too easily.

This “sanctity of marriage” crap is part of the conservative effort to return to the ideals of the 1950s which is apparently their dream decade. In the 1950s, people in abusive or unloving marriages were expected to stay married and work it out because divorce was wrong. I think we can all agree that divorce is a better option.

Some of the logic used to defend the action on these two bills is astounding. Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, said the man-woman marriage structure has stood for 5,000 years. “Are we so wise today that we are willing to reject 5,000 years of recorded history?,” he asked.

Well, I think we are. The belief that black people are inferior to white people existed for a long time, too, and we finally got around to changing that all of thirty years ago. Some people still haven’t figured that one out.

In defending the rejection of the bill that would outlaw job discrimination against homosexuals, Sen. Trent Lott, R-Miss, the Senate Majority Leader, said, “This bill would validate a lifestyle that is unacceptable.” Well, thank you, Senator Jethro, for telling me what is and isn’t acceptable. Who gave this hillbilly power, anyway?

Why would you let the beliefs of others threaten your beliefs? If you believe that marriage is a sacred institution, then damn it, get married and stay married, okay? Would the fact that that same option is open to homosexuals make it impossible for you to have the kind of marriage you want? Of course not.

The values you have are yours. They do not belong to society as a whole, they belong to you. Live your life the way you believe it should be lived, and let others do the same.

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Steven Martens is a senior in journalism and mass communication from Cedar Rapids.