Daily Staff Writer

Great. Another cop-buddy movie. Line ’em up.

Bulletproof is another variation on the “tough cop with a wisecracking partner” formula, this time featuring Damon Wayans as an L.A. undercover cop who, over the course of a year, has befriended a drug lord’s pointman (Adam Sandler).

That’s right—Wayans plays the straight man against Sandler’s foil. Smell any trouble yet?

Anyway, during a raid on the drug lord’s warehouse, Wayans’ cover is blown, and in the resulting shootout he is accidentally shot in the head by Sandler.

Sandler makes an improbable escape and is hunted by the police and the drug lord; Wayans goes to the hospital for some serious surgery and rehabilitation.

That could make for an interesting film, a story of how a cop goes undercover and becomes a close friend of the criminal he is setting up, ending in a horrific showdown – a John Woo-type film about friendship and betrayal.

But no, that’s just the first 20 minutes of the film. What follows is a plot with more holes than a pound of Swiss cheese.

Wayans’ recovery is apparently long and difficult – but takes mere minutes of screen time. And somehow, Sandler’s character stays on the lam long enough to allow Wayans to fully regain his health, so he can escort Sandler back to L.A. from Arizona.

Naturally, danger and wackiness ensue on the way, as they dodge the drug lord’s henchmen and dirty, paid-off cops.

Bulletproof degenerates into a junior-varsity Midnight Run , or Lethal Weapon written by a 15-year-old boy. Character development and action are forgotten in favor of a slew of comedy sequences which are loaded with bodily function jokes, homosexuality jokes, drug use jokes… For an action film, there isn’t much action to be had. It’s as if director Ernest Dickerson and the writers forgot to have things happen in the film.

And the casting does not help at all. Wayans tries his best to be the straight man, but he just can’t pull it off. Compare his performance to DeNiro’s in Midnight Run, where DeNiro allowed Charles Grodin to bounce a stream of jokes off of his unyielding character. The casting is a major flaw in Bulletproof , one which sinks its main attraction, the relationship between the two leads.

The plot implausibilities are just amazing. The drug lord, played by a slumming James Caan, apparently has more influence over the law enforcement community than the attorney general.

Not a single cop can be trusted by Wayans, and every move the duo makes is tracked. But if that’s the case, then how did Sandler stay undercover while Wayans rehabs? For that matter, how did Wayans stay undercover for a full year before being found out?

Never mind. The filmmakers obviously didn’t.

One final observation. The mansion in which the final shootout occurs is the same one used in Last Action Hero . I would recommend that filmmakers avoid it in the future; it clearly has some bad filmmaking karma.

Bulletproof is rated R for explicit violence, language, and porno movies playing in the background. Don’t take the kids. Actually, don’t take anyone. Rent Midnight Run instead.