Instead of jumping on the football prediction bandwagon, I have decided to write about something that can help the newcomers to college life. The sports world guide to getting a date.

First off, let me start by saying that I am a guy and this will be written from the male perspective. So if anything I write offends you ladies out there, send your hate mail to Chad Calek.

Since my first year at Iowa State, there have been a few things that you can count on remaining the same every year: ISU tuition increases, food service food being pure crap (just because they give seconds now doesn’t change the fact that it is crap), and on a better note, you can always count on there being lots of ISU women laying out in the RCA courtyard at the beginning of the semester. For all the freshmen out there you will see what I mean soon enough.

The problem is, with all the bikini-clad, sun-starved coeds, comes a huge amount of ISU studs trying to impress them by playing various sports with their buddies in the courtyard.

For some this might actually work, but I am speaking to the out of shape, non-athletic dorks that get out there and make themselves look like idiots on a regular basis. You’ve seen them — the guys who attempt to play football and take their shirts off and roll around in the dirt with a bunch of other guys while constantly glancing over to see if all the “chicks” are watching.

Or how about the frisbee pros who can catch it behind the back and between their legs, but somehow a few errant throws always end up by the woman who is trying to get some sun on her back and has just untied the back of her bikini top.

It’s ridiculous! If you are going to go out to the courtyard, think of something creative.

I’d like to see a guy come out with a nine-iron and hit a golf ball so well that he could roll it up next to the lady of his choice.

One side note though, bring more than one ball in case you get turned down or one of the balls goes a little too long and you nail her in the head.

Or better yet, whip out the old bow and arrow and surround one of the sunbathing beauties with a dozen arrows. Now that would be impressive!

What about croquet? In my opinion, any guy who can get a date (with a girl) while playing croquet is the ultimate stud.

Bottom line, acting stupid does not equal lots of women. If you’re trying to get a date do it the right way.

Wait until you see them drunk at a party.

Just kidding!

Seriously though, women these days don’t fall for the barbaric displays that men were once able to use to get a date, it takes a little more sensitivity.

This is bad news for many athletic guys who can’t express their feelings, and good news for mama’s boys. See ya!

Brandon Belisle is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Plainfield, Ill.