So this is my last column of the summer. No, I won’t look back, but rather into the future. I have seen the light. I have seen the dawning of the most exciting athletic season that ISU will ever have. I have exercised the demons. I have switched from boxers to briefs.

I will now exercise my psychic powers once again to give you the most exciting events that will occur this fall and into this spring semester.

First prediction: On the day of the first football game of the year, at noon, a man wearing black will eyeball the Wyoming football mascot in a most peculiar way.

As the mascot comes running out to the field, the man in black looks on with a rather menacing grin. Nobody knows why.

Some think they do, but they don’t.

Second prediction: Coach McCarney, tired of the Davis brothers, hits the recruiting trail. When the smoke clears, the Calek brothers have now taken over the helm. Brian, a stocky but thick stallion will lead the way for Chad, a sleek and smooth machine of football pride.

Third prediction: ISU, after taking one of the most brutal butt kickings at the hands of Nebraska, defeat Nebraska by a final of 32-24. McCarney says in an intense, but professional manner after the game, “Yeah, baby. Eat it! Eat it I said! Stick it where the sun don’t shine, baby! Take it to the grave! Who’s the best coach now? Who’s the best coach? I am! I’ve always been! Who’s your daddy, Nebraska? Who’s your daddy now?”

Fourth prediction: Pantera, a white-trash family-oriented metal band from Texas, will jam the national anthem out at the Iowa-Iowa State football game, bringing tears to the eyes of every Hawkeye fan in attendance. “Pure honey. They were sauce,” says a Hawkeye fan in attendance.

Fifth prediction: The man in black keeps grinning. Everyone thinks they know why, but they don’t.

Sixth prediction: ISU basketball wins the Big 12 and the NCAA championship. But wait, Calek averages 32 points a game to lead the Cyclones?

What about Willoughby?

“Well, it’s like this. When you got a kid like Chad who is butter from downtown, you got to do what you got to do. Dedric is a great kid, but he simply can’t ball like Calek. I wish Dedric his best. Last I heard, he was tearing up the YMCA league,” ISU head basketball coach Tim Floyd says.

Seventh prediction: Dedric Willoughby, tired of the constant harassment from ISU fans, gets a gun. And you know what he did with it, don’t you? He moved to Idaho and learned to hunt.

Eighth prediction: A student, claiming to be from Wyoming, is found tied to the clock on main street with a sign hanging from him that says, of all things, “I want to be a cowboy and you can be my cowgirl.” The man in black feels a certain comfort within his soul. His work has been done.

So there you have it. Until the fall!

We’ll talk later.

Chad Calek is a junior in journalism from Persia, Iowa. He is the sports editor of the Daily.