Campus Commerce?

Editorial Board

Iowa State Daily Editorial Board: Tim Davis, Jamey Hansen, Tim Frerking, Chris Mende and Keesia Wirt.

The Board of Regents will meet in Ames on July 17 to finalize the agreement which allows a McDonald’s in The Hub. We admit that we will eat at McDonald’s although the idea of having fried burgers smack in the middle of campus sickens us.

We only wish the Memorial Union, the people who are bringing us fast food right outside the library, would have consulted with students. We all would have told them, “We want Burger King!”

Everybody knows flame-broiled is better.

As a matter of fact, this commercialization of campus might not be a bad idea. Just imagine if we turn Iowa State into a commerce zone. We could turn Morrill Hall into a mini-mall. It’s a perfect location since it’s right along Morrill Road. There could be a drive-thru, yes sir, and it would be big enough for a whole Cy-Ride bus.

The mini-mall could have everything we need: t-shirts, pizza, beer, pop, fast food, subs, copy shop, movie rentals, casino, underarm deodorants, car repair, jewelry, etc.

We could bring Earl-May into Horticulture Hall, Barnes & Noble into the Parks Library, and Rieman Music into Music Hall.

Then we could just rename central campus The Midway and ask Adventureland or those people from Disney if they’d like to set up shop. Just imagine, people could see the lights for miles. The Iowa State brochures could say we are a “little Las Vegas amongst the trees.”

Our lovely Campanile could be a great, big sign with the words “Cyclone Mall” on it and it would advertise all the businesses located there on campus so the folks driving down Lincoln Way would know that they did not need to go downtown to shop.

Of course, all these means there would be an increased demand in parking, which means less green space, which means less campus, which means more problems, which means more administrative controversy and more headaches.

That’s OK because there would be a Snyder Drug store on second floor of Beardshear Hall.

Yes, McState University, Just Do It!

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