Daily Columnist

Hello, my little pets.

Ahhhh! The last column of this great year.

So much is going on in the world of sports, but it seems that so much of it is negative.

What used to be a surprise to fans is now commonplace on much of the courts and fields across the country, especially on the professional ones.

Does it surprise you that Rodman was fined another $5,000? Me neither.

Wow!

He’s getting old.

I think the “Worm” needs to crawl back from where he came.

Could he be from Hell?

Seriously, I know Satan is involved with this man somehow. But the strange thing is, I kind of like the guy.

Anyone who can pull down that many boards is kind of cool. It must be the pagan in me.

I just hope he doesn’t screw up the Bulls’ championship season.

Does it surprise you that another Cornhusker football player is facing public scrutiny? Move over Lawrence, Christian Peter is taking the spotlight for right now.

The defensive tackle, who has clashed with attempted rape and sexual assault charges while playing at Nebraska, entered the real world.

Peter got drafted by the Patriots only to be cut three days later.

Sorry, Peter.

That crap may fly if you’re Warren Moone or Michael Irvin, but you’re a punk.

You don’t make enough money yet to get away with treating people, especially women, like you own them.

Shoot. I’m really sorry that there aren’t many Nebraska fans out that way, Peter.

No, the people out there are football fans who don’t want to see a sport get a horrible reputation from buttholes like you.

But enough about all that negativity in sports today.

Let’s focus on more uplifting subjects.

Speaking of Baywatch, I plan to spend the summer lifeguarding and teaching swimming and tennis lessons.

Let me tell you, it’s the life.

I spend practically the entire summer outdoors playing sports I love.

What are you going to do this summer?

Hopefully you’ll make time to be outdoors.

I specifically suggest learning how to rapell, rock climb, or spelunk.

Right now I only know how to rapell, but my goal is to learn these exciting sports.

Here at Iowa State, there are so many opportunities to learn so many of those type of things.

Outdoor recreation specializes in providing inexpensive trips to wonderful places.

Take advantage of that.

Just call ’em up at State Gym.

Have a great summer and do something unique.

Good luck on finals, little kittens. Meow.

April Samp is a sophomore in journalism and speech communications from Eldora, Iowa.