Fourteen weeks of academia have brought us to another joyous “dead week,” which in professor lingo means “Pile on the work to make-up for lost time.”

Yet I refuse to get into a debate about the contradiction known as the week before finals, as today I will enter your minds armed with a cornucopia of comments, criticisms and oh yes, quotes.

First I will explain the choice in titles, as it may seem a little elusive to all those capable of a rational thought.

Besides being the launching point for John Travolta, a display of ’70s fashions and the benefactor of the phrase “I gotta note,” it was also a show that is misunderstood.

For those who use their spare time pursuing mentally and spiritually challenging hobbies, this show definitely falls outside your idea of interesting.

But hey, it’s a T.V. show, and television rots our minds, thus it isn’t meant to solve the world problems of over-population, hunger and peace. What does this have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing.

Next topic: Ah yes, perhaps I should voice my two cents about the newly remodeled building that has become a target for everyone wishing to see their name in print, “Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes” (Warhol).

After a few minutes of contemplation, I came upon three possible choices that would diminish much of the friction involved in the building’s name (forgive me if I voice something that has been previously stated as I stopped reading the articles concerning the building after the 157th one).

First choice: name the building after the architect who originally designed the structure.

I realize how controversial this may become as the designer may have done something illegal like crossing the street without a walk sign or tearing the tag off a pillow case.

This is not meant to demean the charges brought against Carrie, but only to show how concentrating solely on the negative aspects of a person’s life not only degrades the positive aspects of the individual, but shows our need to find self fulfillment through the degradation of others (be they alive or six feet under).

After all, George Washington died of a venereal disease (which Martha didn’t have), Ben Franklin spent much time in France as an ambassador to the country and to about a hundred little Franklins, and Lincoln was showing signs of insanity only weeks before he was assassinated.

Moving on to a less heated but no less new idea, how about naming the building after the departments that are represented in the structure?

I know this is a new idea for ISU, as it believes that the name of a department on the building’s sign would just make it too easy to find classes, and we all know how much the university hates simplicity.

Finally, if these two choices don’t do anything to solve the problem, then don’t name the building anything. From now on it should be referred to as the building between Bessey and the consumer science building.

Now that I have alienated myself even more than usual, maybe I should stop…

Ah what the hell, one more topic.

This last topic concerns a minority group on campus that is not different from the general student population because of their color, race, or sex, and in fact, it purposely segregates itself from nonmembers.

Perhaps a few of you reading this are in this group, or possibly you were once turned down by a section of these people.

I am referring to the organizations that comprise the non-academic-based greek system.

I realize that these people take quite a bit of crap about how all they do is party and act like animals, but I think that this label applies to college students in general.

I wish to simply ask of those members reading this a simple question that has been on my mind ever since I arrived at ISU: Are people more loyal when you buy their friendship or do the true compadres live outside the economically elite frats and sororities?

You see, I was under the impression that people should like you for what you are and not how much your parents make or what kind of a car you have.

I guess isolating yourself in a socially acceptable group where membership is limited prepares you to become a leader of our planet and continue in the valiant tradition of justifying your importance based solely on the arbitrary advantages of economic means.

Well, that’s it for my writing career, as I am sure many of you are pleased to hear.

I’ve decided to retire to a less obvious place and contemplate whether Hell can really freeze over and if it can, then will the Cubbies finally win the series this year?

So I bid you farewell ISU with this final quote, “Live hard, die young, and leave a good looking corpse” (John Belushi).

Ryan McCammon is a sophomore in Animal Science / Veterinary Medicine from Mason City.