Inside The Scoreboard
April 28, 1996
Well, since we’re entering the time of the year when the weather outside is no longer as frightful, the time has come — to golf as much as humanly possible.
Golf, though, is an eloquent sport, so it is extremely important to act in a manner that is civilized.
So, with that in mind, here are some dos and don’ts that could prove vital to even the most experienced golfer on the links this summer.
Do be polite when asking the clubhouse attendant if you could use a driving cart.
Don’t ask the clubhouse attendant if you can use your own golf cart because you think you’ll need something with four-wheel drive.
Do wait for the group in front of you, if they are on the same hole, to get a good distance ahead before you hit your ball.
Don’t aim for them, unless you want your scorecard to read 5 to 10.
Do tee your ball up to the height you find comfortable.
Don’t ask your partner to pitch your ball to you.
Do quietly stand aside while others are putting.
Don’t slide in front of another player’s putt that is headed toward the hole while yelling, “Kick save!”
Do act in a modest way while admiring a beautiful drive.
Don’t act like you’re Barry Bonds and toss your club aside while strutting toward your blast’s expected destination.
Do mark your ball once it has reached the green.
Don’t just leave your ball in the path of someone else’s and stubbornly proclaim that you’ll fight anyone who touches it.
Do feel free to take a shot at the guy in the riding lawnmower who insists on ignoring the fact that you’re trying to shoot while he’s 10 feet in front of you.
Don’t miss.
Do keep your eye on your partner’s ball after he hits it so that you can help him later in case he has trouble finding it.
Don’t send him in the wrong direction so you can go over to its actual spot and steal it.
Do patiently wait if one of your fellow players’ balls keeps falling off of the tee.
Don’t offer to help by holding the ball on the tee. This isn’t the NFL.
Do calmly drive up to the pair of nine-year-olds who are screaming their heads off a couple of holes over and ask them if they could please quiet down.
Don’t skid to a halt inches away from them, tell them there’s no Santa Claus, steal their balls and throw them into the nearest pond where you just said Jaws lives.
Do tell your partner that he played good and that he just didn’t get any breaks after you add up his scores to find that he just wasted $15.
Don’t walk up to the counter in the clubhouse and ask if you can use the cash register to add up your partner’s total.
Do use the proper tools to clean out your spikes.
Don’t try to knock the dirt and grass from your spikes with your partner’s new King Cobra irons.
Do eat before you take to the links.
Don’t strap a grill to the back of the golf cart. Tailgating tends to be frowned upon by most country clubs.
Do rake the sand following your experience with the bunker.
Don’t build castles and write profanity in the sand.
Just follow these guidelines for etiquette on the golf course and your day will be an enjoyable one.
Matt Downing is a freshman in sports management from Sioux City, Iowa. He is the sports editor of the Daily.