Gay people.

They’re everywhere!

Where the hell do they all come from?

For a heterosexual person like me, it can be hard to understand many of the aspects of gay and lesbian life.

It doesn’t always make sense to me how a person can be attracted to another of the same sex, but on the other hand, I realize one of the beauties of the human race is its diversity.

So I accept my fellow humans for who they are, and treat them like any other person.

I have a female pen pal who is a graduate student at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco. She has had relationships with men and women.

She wrote a good response to the assumption that it may seem as if there are more homosexual people in society today.

“Has it increased? Or are we more aware of it as a part of our culture?” she wrote.

She went on to mention that several recent books about how men dealt with being gay in the past by becoming pirates.

She said there is documentation about homosexuality within the cowboy culture, an example of how in the past, gay men often chose to live away from society.

She claimed everyone has a masculine side and a feminine side. I suppose this is true, but I’m not a psychologist.

I would imagine it is more like a little bit of each of our parents in us, or at least the major male and female influences during the time we were brought up.

She wrote, “I see monosexuality (only having sex with one gender) as a denial of part of ourselves.”

I don’t think it is denial unless a person really has a sexual attraction for the same sex. The thought of two men having sex with each makes me gag. (Hey, I’m being honest here.) I don’t think it is denial, it is just the way I am. When I wrote back to her I had assumed a person can “turn” someone or influence someone’s sexual desires. She had a very good response for this as well.

“This is an interesting point, because we are all responsible for ourselves and no one else. Additionally becoming/experiencing gay, lesbian or bi behaviors are a part of each of us, and I would further argue that they are effected, promoted and suppressed more by culture than by an individual.”

Culture is an overwhelming force on everyone of us.

It is natural for people to want to be accepted by others in the culture for being themselves, but what is right and wrong has changed over the years, and not until recently has a more open world view come about, but gays, lesbians, and bisexuals are still a group that is not accepted by a large portion of the society.

People may not always say directly to gay people that they think it is wrong, but how often have you heard people say about an actor, “Oh, did you know he’s a fag?” as if to say that the person isn’t so great of an actor because he or she is homosexual.

If there is one thing I can see from my view and from what my pen pal has told me, is that coming out of the closet is not easy.

For many it means losing friends, fighting with family, possibly losing a job, and somehow being treated a little bit differently by others.

But being gay is not just about who a person has sex with, it is also about who a person shares his or her life with. So coming out means sharing that relationship with the rest of society. It is a declaration stating who a person is.

I know that above all else being “who you are” is the most important. It involves honesty with yourself and your interactions with others. Denying “who you are” to others is living a lie and denying the beauty of being human.

As for those of us who do not always understand homosexuality, there is no reason to be homophobic.

They, too, are still people and there are plenty of things we can relate to with homosexuals. Judge them on their personality, not on their sexual preference.

The philosopher Frederich Neitzche, who may have been a stinking, no-good elitist, did say one thing I did like that is appropriate to this: “Morality is the herd instinct of the individual.”

Don’t be part of the herd, be yourself.

Tim Frerking is a junior in journalism from Pomeroy.