“All I wanted to be was a carefree kid with no problems. I did not want to change anything from my 12-year-old days. I did not want boobs or hips or anything that went along with being a woman.

“It seemed as if no one heard these wishes as I grew older. Being by far the oldest gymnast in my club, I always felt like a fat, slow giant in competition to the younger girls. It was then I pledged to be the ‘little girl’ on the team before I started college the next year.

“To attain this goal I decided I would eat only salads to assist me in taking off those extra pounds. This helped a little but I was too slow, so I switched to Slim Fast. This worked much better.

“Occasionally, my pattern would be upset, like at those dreaded team functions. I would have to eat so no one would become suspicious of my problem. It was awful. I would eat pizza but then I would feel so guilty I would induce vomiting when I returned to my dorm.

“Eventually my teammate noticed my odd eating habits. Since they knew I needed help, they told my coach. I denied everything, but, of course, he did not believe me. Under his orders, I had to go to treatment. I do not purge anymore but I am definitely not normal. I do not know if I will ever be normal again.”

This is the story of an athlete named Tracy, who asked that her name be changed to protect her privacy. But Tracy is not alone. Eating disorders are a serious health problem facing many athletes. They affect gymnasts, skaters, divers, swimmers, distance runners, wrestlers, tennis and even volleyball players.

Male and female athletes experience eating disorders differently.

Some male athletes use extreme forms of weight loss but it has nothing to do with how they see their bodies. Their reasons for weight loss is not so they can have a “perfect” image, but, in most cases, to be a better athlete. When out of season, the male athlete can return to a healthy weight.

On the other hand, female athletes are trapped behind bars they can not see. It is most common to find an athletes with eating disorders participating in appearance sports or endurance sports.

According to the American College of Sports Medicine, about 62 percent of females competing in appearance or endurance sports have eating disorders.

“You see the best athletes are usually thin. Recognizing this you think to yourself that you need to lose a few pounds to perform better,” said Maria, who also asked that her real name not be used. “A few pounds here, a few pounds there. It all adds up and very quickly you can just not stop. In many cases an eating disorder forms.”

Ardith Brunt, a dietitian at Iowa State’s Wellness Center, said family backgrounds, society’s emphasis on thinness and the need for control are also causes of eating disorders.

“Dieting creates a feeling of control. You feel the only thing you can control is the food you put in your body,” Maria said.

Those athletes who have suffered from eating disorders say its hard to stop because the results are initially positive.

Liz Natale, a recovering anorexic who was a member of the University of Texas cross country team that won the 1986 national title told Sports Illustrated, “You’ll get the results, but you’ll pay for them.”

Peter Farell, women’s track and cross country coach at Princeton for 17 years, added, “To be a great competitor, you need that tunnel vision that anorexia feeds on. Anybody who can starve herself can run a 10,000 relay well.”

Tracy, who suffers from bulimia, said athletes may see good results at first from an eating disorder, but in the long run, the effects are “catastrophic.”

“You become irritable, depressed and become sexually disinterested. Not only that, your metabolism rate remains abnormal for life. Plus, you always have a fear that one day you will fall into the same terrifying lifestyle again,” Tracy said.

Anorexics are deprived of calcium which makes the body steal it from the bones, leading to osteoporosis. This could lead to stress fractures just walking down the street.

Bulimics, who self-induce vomiting after binge eating, also experience health problems. Stomach acids can rot teeth. Their throats also get swollen and lacerated.

Experts say athletes with eating disorders become so malnourished that their liver, kidneys and muscles don’t work because their cells no longer function.

In some cases, death can be the ultimate result.

Christy Henrich, a world-class gymnast, died on July 26, 1994 from multiple organ failure. This was a result of an eating disorder that Kelly Macy, a teammate of Henrich’s, said existed “long before” she realized it.

“A person with an eating disorder does not want others to know their problem,” Maria said. “Of course they are not going to go around saying ‘I have an eating disorder.’ In fact, a lot of them try to be perfectionists.”

As a recovered eating disorder victim, Tracy said she is able to relate to Henrich.

“You want to be the best and you do not settle for anything less. You control your food intake, thinking that that will lead you in the right direction to accomplish your highest goals,” Tracy said. “However, you do not realize what is happening to your body until something drastic happens. I was fortunate. If it were not for my teammates, I could be dead. Although I did not thank them at the time, I do now. They saved my life.”