Good morning all. How’s your “Oh my god, I’m graduating in four weeks” Wednesday? Mine’s freakin’. Or I could tempt you with, doncha hate it when you have to flatulate in class and you’re not sure if anyone will hear? Dontcha?

For today’s little quandary, I’ll take you through a GSB meeting. I’m sorry I won’t enlighten you on the opening processions but I had trouble deciding between ESPN Bowling or Dan Mangan. PBA – GSB? You be the judge.

Well, after fifteen minutes of extremely exhilarating bowling, I was out and about, making my way to the Union for this weekly event. And boy, was I in for a treat.

You see, I’ve never been to a meeting before, as I would imagine 90 percent of ISU hasn’t, and I didn’t know what to expect. Okay, I knew there would be a lot of political bullshit going on, but damn, I had no idea how big of egos these senators had.

After leaving my comfy abode, and the greatest sport of all, I walked in on this great debate about the Kayak club needing $170 for a new paddle. What? What a precedent, some little weenie club, say the Beer Drinkers of ISU, need say $100 for a new keg fridge, they can now go to GSB and plead their case.

“Umm, we need this money so that we can stay home and get bombed. I mean, we don’t want to go to the bars and pay a cover, we want to stay home and save $25. So, you see honorable senators, by voting for this allocation you will be saving the beer drinkers of ISU money. Therefore, it is in the best interest of GSB and Iowa State to pass this bill. Thank you.”

The kayak bill, called eloquently “Without a paddle,” passed 22-8, and if they can get a new freakin’ paddle for $170 bucks, then my club can get $100 for a new keg fridge. Dammit, I want justice.

As for the ego and power trips, man are they the real deal. these senators (I won’t name names) hold up discussion to amend a bill and then don’t even vote for their own amendment. What kind of crap is that?

And what really is bothering me is that the students that these “senators” represent don’t even know what the hell goes on during a GSB session. Why? Because who in their right mind would want to voluntarily sit through hours of bullshit? For what? Nothing, just little cheeseball groups wanting money for paddles. And I don’t mean to pick on the kayak club, a sport that fascinates and scares me, but they were there and they’re my scapegoat for the week.

Anyhoo, the next order of business was this technology committee that was extremely confusing and all the bickering between “peons” made it even more so, so I did what I assume most “senators” did, I spaced. I do remember a lot of yielding, a lot of amendments, and a lot of objections.

After I was so rudely awakened by a passing vote of 27-1, the next order of business was funding for a group. The main problem here was T-shirts. GSB didn’t like the idea of giving money to a group so they could buy T-shirts. But when they asked if “funded by GSB” would be on the shirt, they happily obliged and passed the bill. I think they gave this group $755.

After what seemed like days, actually 1 hour and 40 minutes, I was happy to pack up and get the hell outta there. I got back to my room and I’ll be damned if bowling was off the air. Now I’ll never know who won the PBA championships. All due to Mangan and company.

And now for something completely cool. Henry Rollins.

And if there was any doubt as to how cool Henry Rollins was Sunday night, there isn’t now. the man talked for 2 1/2 hours, and I’ll say that his talks are more intriguing and intelligent then 95 percent of the professors on this campus.

Rollins gave insight as to why he’s in movies and commercials (for money) and gave a rather interesting definition of selling out. In his words selling out is “settling for mediocrity.”

By that, Rollins said that you sell-out if you give up your dreams and accept Pizza Hut. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’ve made a decision about reviewing Rollins. There’s just too much cool shit to talk about and I don’t want to be the judge and leave out something that may be important.

I will say that he was very insightful and inspiring, so I’m good to go, at least for my final three weeks.

See ya in the history books, under legend.