Hello class and welcome to the official 1995 ISU athletic ski school. Let me be the first to welcome both the Cyclone coaches and players, oh, and ex-coaches to the beautiful runs of Colorado and I would like to tell you that being from Iowa State myself, I am ecstatic to be hitting the slopes with you today.

My name is April Samp — some people call me the “Powder Queen” and I’ll be your instructor today. We will be hitting some pretty tough slopes today while we’re here in Colorado, so let’s get our boots on and snap on some boards.

Troy? Troy! Will you please stop signing autographs and join the rest of the group? Thanks.

The first thing I would like to do is take attendance, so if you hear your name called, please indicate that you are present and ready to ski.

Dan? Yeah, I’m here and I’m ready for a whole new ski season.

Tim? Yep.

Jim? What? Did you say something? (Walden’s here.)

Troy? You know, I would vote for me for the Heisman.

Jacy? Julie? Jayme? Chris? Derek? Yeah, we’re all here.

Let’s get started. Remember that the trick to getting on the ski lift is not falling off. Just kidding.

Sit your butts down and enjoy the beautiful scenery as we head up to the peak of Big Eight Mountain.

Hey! Derek and Chris, stop swinging the chair lift. Jeez, you can never leave those wrestlers alone together.

Alright, I’m glad to see that everyone made it up to the top and off the ski lift without any problems. What? Jim lost his glove on the way up? Looks like we’re going to have to call the ski patrol to go get it.

Well, let’s head down the hill. We’ll take some terrain that will have some moguls and rocky spots, but I think if we work hard we can make it down Big Eight Mountain with only a few scratches and crashes.

Dan, why don’t you start down the hill first. I know it’s your first time down this run, but I’m sure you’ll do fine.

All right Troy. You go ahead too.

Whoa Dan, don’t head into that expert terrain. That’s where Oklahoma, Colorado, Kansas, Kansas State and Nebraska all ski. You’re bound to get smashed into. BAM!

Don’t worry class. I’ll send someone down to help him get back on his feet.

Wait. Hey Troy! TD! He’s carving up the mountain. He’s a natural on the gridiron AND on skis. Troy’s giving McCarney some help and a little push to stay on his feet. Way to go Troy. Hopefully that boy won’t go pro anytime soon. This football program and ski school need him badly.

What? Jim couldn’t stop and is heading down the hill already? Oh great — I see him. He’s managed to take out about eight people and knock himself out cold.

That’s good Jacy, Julie and Jayme. You guys are making your way down the hill slowly but surely. A little snowplowing never hurt anyone. Steady improvement will emerge into great programs.

I don’t know much about those snow boards you guys are using Chris and Derick. Just try not to break anything. We want to see you at nationals again.

Everyone wave to the volleyball team making their way down the mountain from the double black diamonds.

They’ve been skiing one of the toughest runs — the NCAA Tournament. Many teams bite it and it’s a tough trek to reach the run, but they all made it down safely.

It’s great to see that everyone made it down safely to the bottom of the mountain with only a few scrapes. I see Troy has a following now. Nothing unusual for him.

Keep up the good work and I’ll see you again next year on the tough Big Eight Mountain.

What’s that? Jim’s still up there?

Oh well.