With a title like To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, you know you’re in for a helluva film, even if you’re just talking about it. (It’s definitely a mouthful.)

And then to hear that it stars Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo (remember him from “House of Buggin’?” Okay, neither did I) makes the thought, “big hit,” pop into your head.

But all of the ads have these three manly men decked out in satin gowns, huge hair and enough makeup to keep Estee Lauder in business for years.

But nothing about the storyline. Is there a plot? Is it funny? Are they playing undercover cops? Transvestites? And who the hell is Julie Newmar? What’s the deal???

The answers to these questions and more await during this fabulous flick with fun and flamboyance. Except I’m still sketchy on who this Julie person is.

The film opens as Snipes and Swayze are getting all dolled up; they are makeup and wig experts, I tell ya. And while Swayze may not be the most, uh, attractive female, Snipes, despite the bulging biceps, could give RuPaul a run for her money.

It turns out that the two are getting ready for a drag queen pageant, complete with a dozen or so contestants and enough blush to tide Tammy Faye Bakker over for a while. Oh, and speaking of RuPaul (a couple sentences back), watch for a fab spot as last year’s queen.

Noxzeema (Snipes) and Vida (Swayze) tie for first place and win an all-expense-paid trip to Hollywood for the national title. But at the contest, they run into Chi Chi Rodriguez (Leguizamo), a “drag princess” who’s still confused and in dire desire of attention.

So they invite Chi Chi along, sell their plane tickets (great cameo alert: Robin Williams!!), buy a banana-yellow Cadillac convertible and begin the drive cross-country. Along the way, they encounter a bigot cop, car trouble and a tiny town (Snydersville, Neb.) in which they have to wait until their car is fixed.

Swayze plays his part to perfection; he is the prim, proper, Bea Arthur of the group (the two could be twins), while Snipes snaps more wiggle in his walk than a plate of Jell-O. His motto is attitude; as he says, “If you want them to know there’s steak for dinner, you got to let them hear it sizzle!”

And Leguizamo is magnificent; does he have a twin sister who stepped into this part or what??

And after a while, the strangeness of seeing these hunks in dresses and pantyhose wore off, and the hysteria took over. See this movie for sure; it’s the best I’ve seen in a long time.

By the way, I think Julie Newmar is a drag queen of time gone by, but I could be wrong. Any input?

Century III Theatres * 7:00 & 9:20