So we lost. Big deal! Even the Niners lost a couple of games last year.

Texas Christian beat us without our starting quarterback. We weren’t used to the weather. The field conditions were bad. They had recorders in our locker room. The refs were paid. It was the mafia. We were caught in a crossfire. Castro was behind the whole thing.

Not to make excuses, but somebody was up to the devil’s work. I felt the evil presence right from the Cyclones’ first play from scrimmage.

I just get so frustrated when I see cheaters. Ya know what I mean?

But it still wasn’t enough to stop THE MAN. And we all know who THE MAN is. Touch Down Davis getting it done once again. Mr. Davis is now one of the nation’s leading rushers averaging 235.5 yards per game.

I’ll say it again. Lawrence who? Nebraska who?

The difference is that Iowa State lost and Nebraska didn’t. Who cares. Nebraska plays every week against moderate opposition. They don’t have to worry about organized crime. They don’t have to worry about who’s got a bolt action rifle pointing out of the fifth row of the press box.

My point is that it takes a little more to be a ‘Clone.

Now that Phillips will be spending time in court and not on the field, the Heisman is wide open. Keep working Troy. You’ll get there.

But nevertheless, we lost. A negative wave blew across campus on that woeful Saturday night. We sat with our hearts in our hands. Our minds wandered helplessly in a sea of despair.

I heard the tears of every student on campus hit the ground as we all screamed in united agony, “We lost to a bunch of frogs. This freakin sucks!”

So now what will the Cyclone fans do?

I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We’ll get loaded and rip those damn goal posts down. I’m serious, Cyclone fans. Let the nation know that we are the best fans in the country. Let the players know that regardless of what the score is, we’re behind them. As a show of this support, we’ll destroy their sacred uprights.

Ohh, it will be a beautiful day in Ames. The sun shines bright as Cyclone fans lose their already half-lost mind in a joyous celebration of the simple spirit of competition.

And look at who our opponent will be. The Hawks! The evil, bad, evil Hawks.

Think about this. Hawkeyes win, which would only happen if they cheat, and they hold their hands in celebration. Cyclones fans say “whatever” and charge the field. The Hawks fly away as we laugh in their face with a nice new goal post in our hands. You got to love it.

So this brings me to my prediction. Here it is. ISU 34, Iowa 33. There’s a lot of offense on both sides of the ball while both squads are a little weaker on the defensive side. But ISU is on Jack Trice field. Huge difference. I smell an upset in the making.

So bring your burgers to the tailgater. Spend that special bonding time with dad or your mom’s boyfriend. Live through the spirit of Cyclone football. Rock and Roll sports fans!

I’ll see you at the game. We’ll talk more next Tuesday. I’ve got to go talk to a guy about a horse.

---

Chad Calek is a sophomore in journalism from Persia, IA. He is the assistant sports editor of the Daily.