Living one life is just about enough for me. I am always busy with something and constantly becoming stressed out. Free time always seems far out of reach and there’s never enough time in one day to do everything.

That’s why I’m completely perplexed over why someone would try to live two completely separate lives at the same time.

But for many queers, living a double life is the only existence they know.

It’s called living “in the closet.”

It means at one time playing the role of a perfectly normal heterosexual in the public eye, and later on throwing off the mask to reveal a queer person when those who aren’t supposed to know aren’t looking.

These closeted people reap the benefits of a straight appearance and allow those queers who are out and politically active across the nation to suffer and struggle for queer rights. The very rights those in the closet want but do not help to secure.

People who live in the closet are hurting themselves. It is a very emotionally draining way of life and can make a person feel totally worthless.

And sometimes those in the closet become depressed enough to commit suicide.

Those in the closet also hurt our movement. In the closet it is impossible to combat the negative propaganda. You can’t defend or define yourself to others while hiding from the people who do not understand you.

Understand that being queer is not about being a member of a secret society. There is no dignity in tip-toeing through life around everyone.

There should be no reason to have to hide things such as queer-themed books when someone comes over to visit.

And there really is more to talk about than “How’s the weather?” when you’re at home visiting your parents. It is time to take a stand and stop the repression.

Coming out is one of the most important acts you can do. Even though coming out is sometimes a dangerous act, you must come out to liberate yourself and show the world queers do exist.

One of the easiest days to come out to your friends and family is on National Coming Out Day. It’s less than a month away, on Oct. 11.

But before you come out to those around you, take advantage of some very useful resources.

On campus, you can contact the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Alliance at 294-2104. They have weekly meetings, friendly people to talk to about all sorts of concerns and they possess a lot of information.

Also, before you come out to your parents, be sure to call Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, otherwise known as PFLAG. It’s a nation-wide organization that your parents might find useful when they try to cope with the news.

The national number is 202-638-4200, and they can tell you where the closest chapter is to your parents.

They can also send you a variety of information, including some on coming out. There is actually a PFLAG chapter in Ames, and you can contact them at 292-2610.

For some people, the act of coming out could be potentially emotionally or physically harmful. Perhaps family members or friends would not approve and not want to have anything more to do with that person.

You might believe this is a perfect excuse for staying in your closet. But it is not a good reason at all. We all face obstacles in our individual lives, and even though some may be of a large variety than others, that’s no reason to back down.

It comes down to deciding whether you want to live your own life or instead let someone else take charge of it.

You need to decide if you want to rise above your fears of coming out to those around you, or let those fears take you further and further down into an empty abyss that will only steal your soul.

You can easily let your family or friends or other people who are not queer friendly squish you into this unpleasant place. Or you can decide to break away and discover how wonderful a free life can be.

There are many teachers, lawyers, actors and politicians who have found the courage to come out of their closets and are helping the queer community to get the rights and respect we deserve.

But there are also many students at Iowa State who have come out and have ever since been living much more fulfilling lives.

You must also learn to accept yourself and be a part of the community. Together we can affect change.

Queers have been around for a very long time and they have been found in every culture in every period of time.

And we are still here. And we are not going away.

Get out of your closet any way you can. Hey, your clothes need the room.

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Aaron Barstow is a biweekly, bisexual columnist who likes to sit in his friend’s closet every once in a while.