I spent the last few days in Texas and experienced health paranoia. On my way there I was char-broiled by the sun in Kansas City. Then I spent two days in the 105 degree sun in San Antonio. I saw myself at 30 hideously leather-like. I hadn’t used sun block and the guilt and fear actually kept me awake with worry.

Then it was food and beverage. I love steak and beer more than life and consume both on a regular basis. The parents I visited are very health conscious and made me aware of the globs of vanilla pudding-like stuff blocking the life force in my heart. I freaked and ate chicken. Red wine is supposedly good for combating heart disease, but how can that compare to beer? Ah, but my poor liver and kidneys, what’s to become of them after being contaminated by beers from all around the world and especially the domestic default – Bud Light?

And finally, exercise. I don’t quite remember what that is. Something about working the muscles, especially the heart. Well, I don’t have a car, so I walk a lot. My dad says that barely counts. I said, “But pops, look at how thin I am. I’m invincible, I eat like a banshee.”

“Wrong moose lips,” he said. And I freaked, seeing my metabolism suddenly stop at age 25 and all the weight I never gained suddenly appear from the waist down. So I swam a lot. For a while.

Back in Ames, the paranoia is gone and I’ve attributed it to society’s obsession with beauty and living to be a 100. There seems to be something potentially dangerous about every food, beverage and activity. Worrying about everything you eat and do will cause stress, which will cause heart problems. We can’t win, so why not enjoy life to the fullest?

I’m sure there is an abundance of older individuals out there who will think I am nuts. They will tell me that they are so happy and full of life and they can’t wait for the next half century. Well, that’s good. Kids need grandparents. However, I don’t want to live past 55 and I think the world would be better off if none of us did. For one thing, if we died sooner, there would be less overpopulation. Most problems of the world can be traced back to this. There are more people alive today than people who have lived and died in the history of mankind.

When I’m 55, I don’t expect that any of that money being taken out of my checks will be there. With an unhealthy, slow-moving body and a job market that doesn’t admit anyone over 45, what am I going to do?

Humanity’s intellect and intelligence has been a two-edged sword throughout all “civilized lands.” We’ve doubled our life expectancy in just a few hundred years and made medical miracles of everyday events. Have we gone too far? Is it necessary to live on pills and piddly incomes for decades? To me, living past 50 is as unnatural as the ingredients in the vitamins that make it possible. So for me, beer and steak will remain. I will live my life to the fullest everyday and I’ll kick off when I kick off.

Erika Stevenson is a senior in English from Marshalltown.