Sperm has many uses in today’s society: making babies, sperm banks, putting volume in limp hair. Hair??? Everybody wants long, thick, model-like hair with lots of volume, volume, volume, right? Look at all those hair extensions that were sold on those TV infomercials. Have you ever thought about getting volume through the use of sperm?

Business is booming in the hair business everywhere, and now there’s a new product that contains some sexually explicit contents: SPERM! This is the world’s most expensive shampoo: Kevis.

The active ingredient in Kevis is found on the tip of human sperm and costs over $30,000 per kilogram. A cloned version of the hyaluronic acid (IIUCP) found in human sperm is used in Kevis shampoo to add volume to hair.

The modus operandi: just as sperm penetrates an egg, Kevis penetrates the hair cuticle and follicle. A four-ounce bottle of Kevis shampoo sells for $25, opposed to $8 for eight ounces of your average salon-type shampoo.

New Women Magazine warns, “You can’t make this stuff up yourself.” KCAL TV interview celebrity hair-stylist at Paramount Studio says, “Stars don’t care what’s in Kevis; all they know is that it works.”

Kevis also offers a 36-day intensive hair improvement program that consists of the shampoo and scalp treatments to revitalize damaged hair and thicken thin hair. The 36-day program sells for $145 and is guaranteed to work on both men and women.

The most common questions asked are: What does this factory look like? Can I make Kevis at home? What happens if Hugh Grant is in my bottle? Answer: You owe him $60 more! To order Kevis products call 1-800-OK-KEVIS.