Gender reveal parties have come back to the forefront of conversation, even during a pandemic, and not for good reasons. Is it time we at least tone it down a bit?

For those who do not know, a gender reveal party is an event where hopeful parents reveal the sex of their unborn child to gathered family and friends. So on top of all the other issues with gender reveal parties, the name is wrong.

Sex is related to biological markers such as genitalia, chromosomes or level of hormones within a person that can label them as male, female or intersex.

Gender, on the other hand, is a society-constructed spectrum from feminine to masculine where people can identify as either feminine or masculine, both, somewhere in between or completely outside the spectrum as nonbinary.

So these parties are actually sex reveal parties, meaning it focuses more on the celebration of whether the child has a penis or vagina over the fact the child and parent carrying the child are both doing well.

One of the other issues with gender reveal parties is the constant battle between parents to have the coolest “here is what genitalia my unborn child has” party ever. Parents have done everything from color-coded cakes, confetti and balloons to using live animals and pyrotechnics.

How do any of those items have anything to do with what is between a person’s legs? The answer is nothing. It’s all about the stunt, all about making a cool video to impress the friends. It’s not about celebrating the child and who they might become. And recently, it’s become dangerous.

Gender reveal parties have been rife with unsafe practices and we’ve seen time and again why having these wild stunts is dangerous. 

An Arizona gender reveal party in 2017, in which the expecting father shot an explosive substance at a target, started a wildfire that destroyed 47,000 acres. He was charged and ordered to repay some $8 million in damages.

A gender reveal party in Iowa last year that essentially involved the detonation of a pipe bomb killed a grandmother-to-be. Then there was the guy in 2018 who used his pet alligator to announce the gender of his child by placing a watermelon filled with blue jelly in the creature’s mouth, causing questions about animal abuse.

And of course, the most recent disaster caused by a gender reveal party is the El Dorado Fire.

The El Dorado Fire was caused by a smoke-generating device, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection, and resulted in over 21,000 acres of land being burned. Worse than the burned land, including countless homes, a firefighter was killed trying to contain the fire.

The firefighter who died in California was killed, the U.S. Forest Service said, while working in the San Bernardino National Forest. Officials said the family could face a variety of criminal charges in addition to the cost of putting the fire out, which could get into the millions of dollars.

No one needs to use pyrotechnics to talk about an unborn child’s genitals to their loved ones, just show off the ultrasound pictures and the baby bump.

Even Jenna Karvunidis, a blogger widely credited with popularizing gender reveal parties, has had enough, writing on Facebook: “Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis. No one cares but you.”

Many see gender reveal parties as important, and we understand why. Celebrating a new life is an important and special time. For some people, getting pregnant and having a viable birth does take a lot of effort and luck, so a pregnancy is certainly a reason to celebrate.

We as the Iowa State Daily Editorial Board are not saying don’t have your party, we are just saying do it safely and responsibly. Skip the explosives and the alligators, just celebrate the expecting parents and the new life entering our world. It’s a beautiful process and the sex reveal party should be too. 

You don’t need to go viral with big explosions of color or expensive cakes or giant balloons, the child won’t care about any of it. The child will care, however, if the party announcing their genitalia killed their grandmother.

To quote Allison Hope from CNN, “Why not throw a ‘my baby is healthy in the womb reveal party!’ or an ‘I am just so excited to be pregnant that I would like to eat cake and celebrate with my nearest and dearest party!’ or an ‘I am shamelessly asking everyone for gifts again even though I already hit you up for my engagement party, bridal shower, my wedding and will again for my baby shower party!’”

Celebrate the happiness of the parents or parent. Celebrate the coming of life. Celebrate a growing family. Celebrate because you can eat cake, celebrate for whatever reason you see fit at that point in time, just do it responsibly.

What that means is be knowledgeable of where you live, check the weather and the climate. Is it too dry to celebrate with pyrotechnics? (The answer is always yes).

Responsibility also comes into play with COVID-19, follow the guidelines, wear a mask, practice social distancing. Maybe try a Zoom meeting instead. Stay safe and wash your hands.