Editor’s note: This is part seven in our weekly relationship series “Talking Connections.” Sensitive content may follow.

In college, there can be an expectation from parents projected onto their children to meet a soulmate, get married and live happily ever after. But oftentimes, this is not the case.

Discussing marriage and relationships with family can be difficult, as there are many factors to consider such as age, relationship quality, wants, needs and more.

Susan Stewart, professor of sociology, said the average age for couples to wed is 30 for men and 28 for women.

“Statistically speaking, up to a point, the longer you wait to get married, the lower your chances of divorce are and higher chances of better marital quality,” Stewart said. “More people, especially the younger generation, are choosing to be single, which goes for women and men. Men are more interested in long-term, committed relationships.”

Stewart also said a factor involved in this is people want to accomplish things on their own, such as obtaining a degree or going to graduate school, and being in a relationship could be limiting.

She said being single is more accepted today than it was in older generations, but it is sometimes harder for parents to understand this. When discussing marriage with parents, she suggests students back their single-hood up with statistics to show parents that these students are not an anomaly.

Stewart also mentioned it’s hard for traditional-aged college students to break away from their parental influences, but it is what young people should be doing. She said college is a time for students to find themselves and make their own decisions, such as where to attend school, where to live and if they want a relationship at all.

Tricia Neppl, associate professor of human development and family studies, said the key to having marriage conversations with family members is to stay calm.

“I think that the important thing is to not display hostility, to not react emotionally and to keep steady,” Neppl said. “Have adult conversations without resorting to getting angry.”

Neppl said there is no right or wrong time to get married. There are people in their 20s with enduring relationships and people getting married in their 40s with enduring relationships. An important factor in marital relationships is to be with a partner that is warm and supportive with productive communication skills.

Much of marital pressures from parental figures come from how parents were raised, Neppl said, and there is a continuity of harsh parenting across generations. However, that doesn’t mean all parental pressures are negative.

“In the throughs, the kids don’t like [hands-on parenting], but they do need structure and parents to guide them to make the right decisions, even in college,” Neppl said. “Eventually, [kids] say, ‘Oh, yes, I get it, I understand why my parents pushed me to do this or encouraged me to do that.’ But when pressure creates emotional distress, it crosses a line.”

Such pressures can have a negative effect on people. Some people don’t have a partner and never want to find one, while others may dream of getting married and starting a family right out of college. Society can create an expectation that makes people think they need a relationship.

That pressure can make people think being in an unhealthy relationship is better than not being in one at all, which can be harmful to their personal well-being.