The first mass produced video game, Pong, consisted of one dot and two sticks that moved around. This was a gross, pixely replacement for a real in person thing people actually do, called ping pong. For those of you who do not know, this is also where beer pong balls come from, but that’s beside the point.

Even in its early days, when it was bad, people still would sit in a garage or basement and play video games for fun, even if it was simulating a real job like farming, running a lemonade stand or stealing cars and murdering hookers. It is my firm belief that this addictive fun quality may be transmittable to life, if applied correctly.

Now we all know that real life sucks, especially if something bad happens, like if someone frames you for a crime. On the other hand, if something bad happens in a video game, like the dark brotherhood being betrayed by a trusted member, that just adds to the plot. There’s no reason to mourn because another quest line just opened where you have to assassinate the emperor.

Now, it’s hard to immediately dissociate with the world and not care about anything, so here are some ways to remind yourself that life is a video game:

1. Have a running quest and captains log to document your wacky adventures and track your stats so you can objectively compare yourself to other players.

2. Seek out NPCs in the real world to give you side missions. Not all NPCs will be cool and have quests, but if you hear anything like the sentences below, you might have an interesting quest.

   1. “We were looking for some help with…”

   2. “I really don’t want to go to this alone.”

   3. “I’d love to do something, but the law states that…”

3. Always wear headphones and change your playlists based on your location and if there is something exciting happening. For example, if there is a chase scene or a boss battle.

4. Try to carry as much useful inventory with you at all times in your backpack. This will, over time, increase your base strength stat and you will be prepared for any mini-games life throws at you, like having a face mask to enter incognito mode.

5. Split stats of tools and people into quantifiable categories like: Attractiveness, Knowledge, Gullibility, Strength and Speed.

6. Create player cards for your friends to weed out the weak ones and show preference towards the superior collectable companions. Be sure to note special abilities along with stats in order to have companions who pair well with each other.

7. Grant yourself points each day based off your goals and alignment in life, if you are good or bad, chaotic or neutral. I’m chaotic neutral, as that allows me more freedom in my play through, but feel free to choose your own.