These last few years in college have been crucial to my personal growth and development. I would say I have been fortunate enough to be able to learn and bounce back from mistakes I’ve made and mistakes I’ve had to bear that others have brought upon me. 

Highs and lows are a given in life; there is no doubt that sooner or later, you will experience great pain or loss. I am not saying this to scare you into never taking risks or living your best life, but to help others acknowledge that hard times do come at various points in your life, and it is best to prepare yourself on how to respond when they do.

I remember one of the most challenging periods of college and my life a couple of years back. The emotional and physical pain that I felt were valid. I was greatly inconvenienced and targeted because of who I was as a person and how I expressed myself to others. The worst part was knowing that I was in the right but not being able to have closure or resolve.

Because of this, I forced myself to be miserable. My every thought, word and action were to try and find the closure that was impossible to attain, not because I wasn’t trying hard enough, but because those who affected me simply did not care. I began to find emptiness and a lack of joy in my life. I would have no appetite and sleep continuously, hoping that some way would allow me to escape the pain I felt while awake. I spent countless hours fixating on what I thought my life could or should look like instead of taking charge of my current circumstances and actively working to attain those visions. 

With grief and loss, everyone has a different matter of healing. One day, I finally found my peace. I spent a day focusing on myself. I recorded myself speaking for hours. Speaking about what I had been through. Speaking about how I felt in every given situation. And accepting what I felt in every situation. I knew that I couldn’t find the validation of my thoughts and feelings from those I wanted closure from, so I did something even more powerful, giving validation and closure to myself. I forgave myself for the emotions I felt throughout my situation and validated that it was okay to feel what I felt. The amount of relief and peace that I felt was astonishing. I had held on to so much for so long because I felt I needed permission from others to let go when all I needed was to grant myself permission. 

I learned so much about myself through my experience and struggles. That I was enough for me. That I had more strength than I knew. That I had so much support from family and friends that I constantly took for granted.

For anyone struggling to let go, I want to share one of my favorite quotes about perseverance through tough times from Helen Keller: “The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.”