“This fall I will be a senior in college.”

That was my reply to the constant question I was asked while recently attending a family reunion. Since my family is large, I had to repeat myself multiple times. I kept hearing the words coming out of my mouth, but I couldn’t believe they were true.

When did I get so old?

I have been referring to my graduation in May as impending doom, which is not the most optimistic response from someone who should be ready to go out in the world and join the workforce. I am excited to move on to the next chapter in my life, but I can’t help but feel as if it’s all too fast too soon.

I have been in school my whole life. From kindergarten to my prospective college diploma, I know nothing of a world that doesn’t include education. I have been primed and groomed with decades of schooling for this moment.

When I was younger I often spoke about what I wanted to be when I grew up — as any child does.

Well, now I’m grown up.

Now I have to go be whatever it is that year after year of schooling has prepared me to be. I should be ready, but I feel like I’m faking it every day.

At 21, I am legally an adult, but I definitely don’t feel like one at all. I pay bills, shop for groceries, cook for myself and do my own laundry; I know how to function independently in various small senses but there is so much learning I still have yet to do.

How will I know where I can afford to live after graduation?

How do I take my car to get fixed without being scammed?

How do I pay taxes?

How do I build my credit?

How am I supposed to find a job?

In addition, a common case of early onset impostor syndrome has left me overwhelmed at the thought of paying off my student loans. I’ll be about $70,000 in debt by the time I finally walk across the stage in May.

Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

I’m not the only one who’s worried about this. As of this year, Americans officially owe more than $1.48 trillion in student loan debt according to Federal Reserve statistics on consumer credit.

People say that graduation is the beginning of the rest of our lives, but how can this be true when the majority of college graduates are currently paying at least two hundred dollars a month for 20 to 30 years?

At least I have six months after graduation before beginning to pay my loans back, right? Six months to get my life together, secure a well-paying job, move in to a new residence and begin the arduous task of paying back the government for the rest of my life.

Graduation is supposed to be a happy event — a proud moment of knowing you’ve accomplished something and the relief of knowing the hard work is over. Yet, along with the entire college student population nationally, I can’t help but feel doomed from the get go.