Determining “exclusivity” in a romantic relationship is one of the more nerve-racking topics couples get to discuss. For some, exclusivity is an unspoken rule, and for others it’s not expected in a relationship. 

Exclusivity in College

Jillian McKee talked to Iowa State students on what is means to be exclusive in college. 

“I think you go from ‘talking’ to exclusive when you have that official conversation about making it exclusive,” said Dakota Karthan, junior in public relations and marketing. “You can’t assume otherwise. I’ve had enough experiences to learn you can’t assume you’re the only person this person is ‘talking’ to until you make that clear.”

Software engineering junior Blake Mulnix agreed that you can’t make an assumption about what the other person wants.

“I think it’s best to be explicit about going from talking to being exclusive,” Mulnix said. “This ensures that both people in the relationship are on the same page. The partners should try to communicate their idea as to what an exclusive relationship is and what they expect from their partner.”

Communicating Exclusivity in Romantic Relationships

Psychology lecturers, Katherine A. Rafferty and Kelly G. Odenweller, share their thoughts on communicating exclusivity in a romantic relationship.

Becoming “exclusive” is a big turning point for romantic couples. For some couples, this is an exciting change that increases partners’ commitment, satisfaction, and closeness. For other couples, this change can be met with uncertainty and tension–especially if partners’ expectations are different. If you are wanting to make your relationship “official,” communication can help you navigate these issues.

First, observe your partner’s verbal and nonverbal communication to find out if s/he is ready to become exclusive. Does your partner want to spend the majority of his/her time with you? Is your partner contacting you via social media (e.g., commenting on your photos, following you on Twitter), calling you, or asking to see you more frequently? If so, then your partner is likely trying to intensify your bond and take your relationship to the next stage.

Column: Open vs Closed Relationships

Matilda Kuenster explores her thoughts on committed relationships in college, compared to open relationships. 

The world of relationships that we live in could not be more complicated, there are so many different terms for being with another human being.

No matter what type of relationship you find yourself in, communication is the key. Whether you are interested in a committed or open relationship, it is vital that you make sure that your partner is on the exact same page.

Check out Daily Dates: Communication and Daily Dates: Affection for more on relationships!