I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant and I gave birth when I was 16 (ninth grade going into 10th). I had an immediate gut feeling after I made the decision to keep my baby. It just felt like something was off or wasn’t right.

My immediate reaction was the same one you have just before going down the steepest hill on a roller coaster. I was scared, unable to see past this moment. It was like I didn’t want to be there.

Essentially, my life has been a real-life roller coaster ride since that exact moment with lots of “ups” and some “downs.”

The process of becoming a mother drastically affected relations with friends and family. I was no longer seen as the sweet and innocent Paige everybody knew. Even though my family and friends never said it, some were clearly disappointed and embarrassed by me.

Some friends changed, some stayed the same. Now, I have friends who did not enter my life until the younger stages of motherhood. In a sense, I am a superhero in their eyes.

Some of my relationships with family are difficult for a lot of reasons, but one reason is they felt they needed to take control once Beau, my son, was a part of my life. I carry a lot of anger toward the people who tried to make decisions for me, but I try to tell myself it was out of love for me and my son.

At the end of the day, like anyone else, I am my own person and only allow those into my life who have my best interest. That can be tough when considering past experiences. But often times relationships that have seen ugly, blossom even stronger, including some I’m still working on.

When I had my son, I only took two weeks off from school. I felt interrupted and had ultimately promised myself I wouldn’t let myself slip academically because of the circumstances. I still experienced high school with friends and activities, I just had more of a responsibility — emotionally, mentally, physically, socially and financially.

People ask me all the time, “How do you do it? Isn’t it hard?” Well, my answer is always it’s never been easy having a child at a young age, but it has been worth the road traveled. My mom helped me the first few years, but I’ve been on my own since I was 18. I chose this life and wouldn’t change it.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days I have no idea how I’m going to get to the end, but as cliché as it sounds, those days make me stronger. Some days it’s rainbows and butterflies, others it’s wondering if I’m really fit to be Mom. I was going down the wrong path before I had my son, and ever since becoming a mother, I’ve become a better version of myself.

I see the world in a different light and have more respect for myself and others. I am strong because of the cards I was dealt and will reach high points in life that I will be proud to say I did on my own.

Having a child has affected my dating life in the fact that I can’t drop everything I have going on for one person because I have a child for whom I’m responsible. Therefore, I’ve almost demanded someone I’m dating to respect my time because I simply don’t have time to waste. Having a child at a young age has taught me to be careful with whom I choose to spend my time.

I have always kind of had the idea that ‘not letting everybody in’ would protect my son and me. In terms of first impressions, this can be true. However, you can also block unknown blessings with this mindset.

I’ve learned while many people would never date someone with a child, there are many who would. A lot of people I’ve met appreciate me more as a mother and the responsibility that comes with.

Beau is almost eight now and has yet to meet someone I’m dating. I live by faith and am certain when God has someone who is ready to accept us as a package, we will also be ready to invite someone into our crazy lives.

My advice for people in college with a child is to never ever give up on your own aspirations when you first become a parent. Be a parent FIRST and wholeheartedly, but find the balance necessary to maintaining sanity.

I can’t explain how many times I’ve wanted to give up. But then, I remember how hard I’ve worked to get to this point. I plan to graduate with honors and go on to inspire the next person who felt like giving up or were told they could not achieve their dreams.