I was sitting in a banquet hall in Chicago late July, enjoying traditional Indian food after attending a friend’s dance performance, when it happened.

I took a bite of what I thought was a plain vegetable samosa and approximately 15 seconds later my mouth flooded with a strange, itchy, horrifying taste, one that I both dreaded and had almost forgotten. I got up and sprinted to the bathroom, making it just in time to vomit. I was having an allergic reaction.

I’m allergic to treenuts, which includes all nuts except peanuts. I’ve been allergic since I was a kid, but that night in Chicago was the first time I had to go to the hospital for it. Unlike seasonal allergies, when I eat a nut, I have an anaphylactic reaction, which means my throat starts closing up. Most of the time, taking Benadryl is enough to stop the reaction. What I stupidly didn’t realize in July was that my Benadryl was expired. So an hour later I was in the ER, getting antihistamines through an IV.

Needless to say, I was much more cautious about keeping my medicine up to date and watching what I ate after that incident. But that wasn’t enough to prevent another reaction just a week ago, when I got halfway through a (supposedly) nut free veggie burger before realizing I was having a reaction. This time it wasn’t as extreme, and no trip to the hospital was needed. But there’s something acutely terrifying about realizing that even after taking so many precautions, accidents happen, and I can experience a potentially fatal reaction anytime.

What most people don’t know about allergies, and what I didn’t even realize until recently, is that a sense of impending doom is quite literally a symptom of anaphylaxis. Even though I intellectually know that in a few minutes I’ll be fine, the sensation of feeling my throat swell up and the taste that accompanies a reaction is one of the most terrifying feelings I know.  The fear drastically outweighs the physical symptoms, to the extent that even a couple days later I felt as if I was having a reaction every time I took a bite of even the most benign foods.

The reason I’m writing all of this is to provide some sort of explanation for people who don’t have severe allergies so they can understand what it feels like when a single bite can kill you. I’ll be the first to admit that a nut allergy makes for a good punchline, but the joke is not funny when it means people don’t take my allergy seriously.

Plenty of us work in food service jobs; plenty of people grumble and complain when they aren’t allowed to bring food into a public place because of allergies. Understanding the why is important, so that accidents like what happened last week become less frequent, especially as severe food allergies have increased by almost 400% over the past few decades. Small sacrifices like not eating peanut butter around potentially allergic people, or even just being aware of the dangers, isn’t too much to ask.

And for those readers who DO have severe food allergies, or parents of allergic kids, find the line between being cautious and living in fear. Anaphylaxis is terrifying, and I know how easy it can be to succumb to the fear and stop eating anything with even the most miniscule amount of risk. But allergen awareness is increasing everyday, and 99% of the time a food that’s supposed to be safe IS safe. Use your best judgement and don’t let it scar you when you have a reaction. Food is amazing. Don’t be afraid to enjoy it.