All text in italics are messages from Carter.

Massachusetts – Michelle Carter is on trial for the role that she played in the suicide of her boyfriend, Conrad Roy.

Roy killed himself in 2014 by filling his truck with carbon monoxide in a Kmart parking lot after Carter sent him messages encouraging him to end his life. 

Carter, who was 17 at the time, had also suffered from mental illness issues, leading to eating disorders, cutting herself and suicide attempts.

Carter’s defense is that she didn’t think that life could get better for the 18-year-old and that ending his life was the best option for him. 

But this wasn’t about what she thought was best for him. This was about the attention she would get if she was the girlfriend of “The Boy Who Killed Himself”. 

In the story of the case by The New York Times, Carter sent a classmate,

“Hes suicidal and has severe depression and social anxiety which is the bad part but I’m the only one he has and he needs me. I mean it’s not helping that I’m kinda going thru my own stuff but if I leave him he will probably kill himself and it would be all my fault. I’m keeping him alive basically.”

She seemed to be a loving, worried girlfriend to everyone. But in reality, she was using him and his mental state for her own sick, selfish desperate need for attention.

One of the text messages sent from Carter to Roy said, “Just park your car and sit there and it will take, like, 20 minutes.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

This 17-year-old girl told another human being – another fragile human being – that his life was not a big deal. That it wouldn’t matter if he lived or died. Can you imagine that? Someone you are close to, someone you love telling you that? This isn’t a case of an anonymous bully on the internet telling you to kill yourself because they disagree with you. This is murder and should be tried as such.

She also went on to tell him that not even his parents cared and that people would “get over” his death with time.

“I think your parents know you’re in a really bad place. I’m not saying they want you to do it but I honestly feel like they can accept it.”

“Everyone will be sad for a while but they will get over it and move on.”

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention reported that nearly 43,000 people end their own lives annually in the United States. It is also reported that on average, every suicide victim leaves behind six “suicide survivors” – friends, family, coworkers, mental health physicians and anyone else close to the victim that are deeply affected by the death. 

Often, suicide survivors experience guilt because they go through the thought process of “what if”. What if I had been with them? What if I had asked them how they were doing? etc. In my opinion, someone who might be considering suicide would be worried about hurting those who would survive them. 

Carter, someone who would be considered a survivor as she was his girlfriend, was obviously giving him her blessing, so to say. Then, she took it further and said that other survivors would be okay with it as well. 

A prosecutor, Maryclare Flynn told the judge that while Roy was in his truck as it was filling with the toxic gas, he got scared and got out of the vehicle while on the phone with Carter. Flynn said that Carter “ordered him back in and then listened for 20 minutes as he cried in pain, took his last breath, and then died.”

If she was doing this for him, because she thought that this was the best option for him, why would she encourage him to continue when he changed his mind?

Carter was also texting others in the days before Roy’s death, saying that he was missing, even though she was texting him at the time and knew exactly where he was. 

She was setting the stage for his death. Getting people worried – about him and about her. “That poor girl, her mentally ill boyfriend is missing.”

Then his death stole the show. “That poor girl, her mentally ill boyfriend killed himself.”

But she couldn’t be done with the attention yet. She gave herself an encore, coordinating a baseball tournament in his name as a fundraiser. “That poor girl, grieving for her dead boyfriend and still trying to help others.”

“Even though I could not save my boyfriend’s life,” she wrote on Facebook, “I want to put myself out there to try to save as many other lives as possible.”

Yes, I’m very shocked that you texting your boyfriend “Hang yourself, jump off a building, stab yourself idk there’s a lot of ways” didn’t keep him from killing himself. Truly shocked. 

This girl is a murderer. She might not have filled the car with gas or pulled the trigger or pushed him off a roof or tied the noose but she killed him. 

Why does this matter

This matters because there are so many people – so many students (1000 suicide deaths on college campuses every year) that are struggling with depression or anxiety or any sort of mental illness that is leading them to consider suicide. 

Because there are so many people who need a pull away from the edge, not a push off. It’s important for us to know that what we say to other people has a real impact and it could mean life or death. 

So, let’s not tell people to kill themselves, okay?

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Iowa State Counseling Services : http://www.counseling.iastate.edu/

Helpful tips on talking to someone who is suicidal.

Helpful tips on helping suicide survivors.