Commentary: Sexual assault ‘survivors who are out there, including myself, need you’
February 8, 2017
I became an advocate for sexual assault education and prevention in a rather unconventional way. For the last decade of my life, once or twice a year, I’ve stepped foot onstage in pretty gowns and twirled batons and answered questions in front of hundreds of people. You guessed it: pageant queen.
I used to love performing the most, and don’t get me wrong, it still is the greatest, most exhilarating thing I’ve done in this lifetime. But now my passions have shifted; my favorite part is the reason why I compete. I compete because I believe in something bigger than me. I believe there are changes to be made, people to help and voices to be heard. So, after my own personal and horrifying experience with sexual assault, I knew I had a unique opportunity to speak about it – and to maybe make some change in the process.
Speaking about my own assault has not been easy. In fact, at age 15, when I was assaulted, I didn’t speak about it for four years. I know my situation isn’t unique. Sexual assault happens everyday to normal people in normal places at normal times. When I felt ready and had sought out the resources I needed, my assault became something that no longer held me back – it gave me a voice, and it gave me something bigger than me to fight for.
Campus sexual assault education and prevention is not only a needed component on high school and college campuses, it’s vital to our survival. It is absolutely, without-a-doubt, necessary. And it isn’t hard to implement programs on your own campuses. Campuses across the country are enlisting the help of organizations like Know Your IX, End Rape On Campus, It’s On Us and RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) to ensure their campuses are equipped with the tools and resources to prevent sexual assault and most importantly, to support survivors in their journey to healing.
We can no longer ignore the blatant issue of campus sexual violence. We’ve watched this epidemic unfold over the last few years, with cases like Brock Turner, to Missoula, to Erica Kinsman’s historic case against Florida State University, to the recent unveilings at Baylor – campus sexual assault is running rampant across the country. And the only ones who can stop it, is us.
Some students might not give much thought to the topic of campus sexual assault. Perhaps they haven’t been directly affected or have a stronger connection to another social injustice, but if you aren’t concerned with this issue, perhaps I can provide some insight as to why you should be. According to the Department of Justice, one in five women and one in sixteen men will be sexually assaulted before they leave college. Process those odds really quick – one in five. We aren’t just talking about a random woman. We’re talking about our sisters, nieces, cousins, mothers or aunts or grandmothers who have perhaps already endured this grave unfairness. We are talking about our best friends, the girl down the hall or down the street. It’s our brothers, nephews, uncles, fathers, best friends. It is the people we know and love and respect who have been affected by this epidemic. Our reality check is that if it hasn’t impacted you, you’re the minority.
So we need to fight. For me, that means volunteering my time in order to ensure campuses and assailants are held accountable, survivors have the resources they need and we change the conversation that surrounds sexual violence – and making sure others know that that conversation needs to happen sooner. If the conversation about sexual assault and consent is starting in college, we are too late. For you, this fight may be different. Perhaps you voice your concerns through writing, through a grassroots effort in contacting your state representatives and senators to ensure legislative change can be made. Perhaps you organize an effort on your own campus to draw attention to the issue. Perhaps you start a conversation amongst your friends about sexual violence and how you can look out for one another via bystander intervention. Maybe it’s talking to your fraternity or sorority members, to your brothers and sisters, to your peers and coworkers. Believe me when I say you can have an impact and you are what we need to make substantial, tangible change in our campuses across the country.
The survivors who are out there, including myself, need you. We need driven, encouraging young people to stand up for what is right. And to any survivors, know that so many of us in this world stand beside you. We see you, we hear you and we believe you. And I believe in those who are just as motivated as I am to see positive change. We need it now more than ever. This is not optional; this is mandatory.