“Are you sure?” “How much did you have to drink?” “What were you wearing?” Sadly, these are often the first words out of a person’s mouth when someone confides in them that they’ve been sexually assaulted. These reports are not being made to law enforcement or to medical facilities first. These reports are shared with best friends, co-workers and family members; which means these people, entrusted with some of the most private information someone could share, have responded with doubt and blame. Can the friend or family member be faulted? Has anyone taught them an appropriate way to respond or has society and cultural influence led us to believe these are all false reports and should be questioned?

I encourage you to start by believing. As a police officer, I start by believing a victim of theft, assault and burglary. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have a victim willing to share information that could lead to finding the suspect. As a society, we start by believing and respond with empathy and concern when someone reports being in a car crash. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t have meaningful friendships and relationships with others. So why does society not start by believing sexual assault reports?

Sexual assault can be a scary topic that many prefer to avoid. Without education, we may think that a victim is at least partially to blame and believing them would be wrong. In reality, your belief affords the victim an opportunity to get the support needed to continue moving forward; support which is readily available within the ISU Community.

For 20 years, ISU Police has housed the coordinator of the county-wide Sexual Assault Response Team and has taken a victim-centered approach to every response. If we measure success by the number of times we go to court and receive a guilty verdict, we are providing victims and ourselves a massive disservice. Instead we need to measure success by the number of people comfortable enough to reach out to someone, and getting those people the resources available. Many people prefer the term “survivor” instead of “victim” because of the process it takes to recover from and continue moving forward after such a traumatic event. Our resources are available not only to help victims survive, but to thrive. Start by believing and get people in touch with the resources they need.