Iowa State swipes right
April 26, 2016
I got a Tinder profile to do some research. One of the first bios I saw was, “I’ll f— for some chicken nugs.” Probably a joke. Probably.
Iowa State ranks eighth in the nation for most women swiped right on Tinder and 50th for men, according to Tinder.
Open up Tinder on Central Campus during the week and you are bound to find more than 1,000 people to swipe left or right, male or female.
“The big advantage to Tinder is to find people who are near you. It’s a way to have immediate and casual sexual encounters,” said Zlatan Krizan, associate professor of psychology.
Tinder hits on a market of young adults who are constantly on the move.
“If you are a busy college student or young professional, the fact you can match based on location – it appeals to young people, especially those who want to travel,” said Kristin Hopper-Losenicky, lecturer in the women’s studies department.
Tinder works whether students are spending their semester on campus, abroad or if they get an internship during the summer.
“I got Tinder because I didn’t know anyone in Chicago, which is where I was over the summer,” said Tad Beekman, sophomore in food science. “I honestly just wanted someone to talk to.”
Though it is known for fueling the hook-up culture, Tinder is marketed as a dating app.
“It’s not uncommon to get a relationship off Tinder, it’s just less common,” Beekman said. “You can kind of tell what someone is looking for by the way your conversation with them starts.”
Beekman met his girlfriend on Tinder. They started talking and hit it off. He went to see her and they started dating soon after. They are no longer together, but Beekman said he does not regret using Tinder.
“My relationship didn’t last, but it didn’t affect my view of Tinder,” Beekman said. “I’d probably use Tinder to find a girlfriend again.”
Finding a relationship on Tinder is not uncommon, as Beekman said, but it is just more common to find a sexual partner.
“I know a lot of people who actually got dates from it, but it’s mostly people just trying to hook up usually,” said Christine Cate, freshman in anthropology.
Where does this come from? Why is there an app designed to help people make it clear they want to hook up?
Let’s start in 1960.
Hopper-Losenicky said the sexual revolution in the 1960s allowed for emerging open sexuality following the acceptance of contraceptives and birth control.
The pill was first allowed distribution in the United States in 1960, so it is no coincidence that more young adults felt more comfortable having premarital sex.
“Tinder gets a bad rap for fueling the hook-up culture, but that would be happening anyway,” Hopper-Losenicky said. “You don’t need technology to do it.”
However, technology might be responsible for keeping the hook-up culture going, or even expanding it.
“People have always engaged in sexual behavior,” Krizan said. “It’s the access that’s easier than ever. Dating apps give you access to more potential partners. It’s an equivalent to looking on your phone for somewhere to eat.”
Teresa Downing-Matibag, lecturer in sociology, has similar thoughts.
“It’s like a buffet of bodies,” Downing-Matibag said. “You can have more than one in a day, or even a night. You can try out all different types of people, body types, physical appearances, sex acts, etc. without anyone else knowing. They can be experimental with Tinder until they find someone that wants to do that with them.”
So why is Tinder so popular at colleges?
“People in college are really busy,” Hopper-Losenicky said. “Tinder helps people because you no longer need to take the time to meet face to face to become interested in someone.”
A lot of people are also coming together in one place ready for or wanting sex.
“It might have something to do with that there are more and more people going to college, and for many, there is opportunity to explore that they didn’t have in, say, rural Iowa,” Hopper-Losenicky said.
Tinder allows those students who are looking to join the hook-up culture join it more easily.
“Social media has made hooking up much more accessible. People can be very clear for what they are looking for,” Downing-Matibag said.
And that clarity is given a medium with an audience. Otherwise, it’s a free-for-all out there.
“Tinder is more straightforward than flirting and less creepy than going up to someone and asking, ‘Hey, you want to have sex?’” Cate said.
The straightforwardness also lowers the chance of rejection.
“The risk of being turned down is lowered because with Tinder, you find out who is attracted to who,” Downing-Matibag said. “In a bar or party setting, it’s more of a guessing game.”
The straightforward nature of hook-up apps has one downside.
“Tinder creates very strong comparisons between people, whereas you would not act that way in normal situations,” Krizan said. “It might happen a little at a bar where you choose one person out of a group, but there is a disconnect. You are exclusively judging people and it leads to being less satisfied with your decision because there is always someone else that could be better that you could easily pick up.”
Measuring someone by their physical looks is nothing new.
“When people talk about Tinder, they want to say it’s superficial because you just go off pictures of people, but if you were meeting people at bars, you would still check people out,” Hopper-Losenicky said.
Tinder highlights what people look for in a potential partner in the first place.
“Hooking up for some people today is a gateway to dating or a relationship,” Downing-Matibag-Matibag said. “Physical attraction usually comes first and Tinder gets that out of the way.”
However, there is something to be said for meeting in person first instead of online.
Social psychologists have research that shows that the people who were liked most from their online profile are not the same people who were liked most in face-to-face meetings, Krizan said.
But Tinder eliminates the awkward first glances and getting caught looking.
“It’s a better form of speed dating,” Hopper-Losenicky said.
Some people like that Tinder offers no commitment to a conversation once two people recognize each other as attractive.
“Some people just use Tinder for validation that they are cute and such,” Downing-Matibag said.
Other people are on Tinder just to look for someone they might know.
“I got a Tinder because I thought it would be funny just to see who was on there,” Cate said. “I feel like a lot of people use it to see who else does.”
But why just peer into the swath of users just for the sake of seeing who’s on there? Maybe you find out who in your social sphere is willing to hook up. Or maybe you are looking to catch someone.
“There is a high level of cheating among college students, and Tinder has only increased that,” Downing-Matibag said. “Normally cheating would happen with someone in or near the friend group, but cheating using Tinder is less risky because you can find someone outside your social circle and it’s less likely to come out.”
How much of a concern is cheating? Research shows that 40 percent of men who use Tinder are already in a relationship, Hopper-Losenicky said.
“It’s not good for the stigma that men cheat,” Hopper-Losenicky said.
With so many people double-dipping, common beliefs that relationships won’t last develop.
“Some people don’t see trust anymore and are giving up on finding a long-term relationship for a good period of their lives,” Downing-Matibag said.
Ironically enough, this just fuels the hook-up culture. Kids with a bleak outlet for relationships settle for hooking up.
“There are 50 million users on Tinder and a lot of them are young professionals,” Downing-Matibag said. “If this trend continues, it could undermine traditional dating or even marriage.”
Whether that’s true, the value of intimacy, the foundation for many relationships, is fading with casual sex.
“Some of the people using these apps are starting to have less respect for their sex partners,” Downing-Matibag said. “There is a lack of interest in someone beyond sex.”
Many users are lacking in intimacy and passion.
“You get to the point where it’s so casual and meaningless. After a while it’s like, ‘what’s the point?’” Krizan said.
On the flip side, having a casual sexual encounter is empowering to some.
“Men have traditionally been more comfortable with having casual sex, but there are many women who are saying, ‘Well, if men can do it then I can too,’” Downing-Matibag said.
In the past, women have been chastised for sex out of wedlock.
“For the modern woman, it’s now OK to say you’re interested in sex,” Hopper-Losenicky said. “It’s also in the back of their minds that it could turn into something more.”
Women are adapting to the trend. Total acceptance is currently out of reach, however.
“There are lingering social issues where, if you are a woman pursuing a man, it might seem over-aggressive,” Hopper-Losenicky said. “It’s that lingering stereotype that might hold women back from being the one to send the message.”
It even goes beyond stereotype to ridicule.
“There is a significant double standard for women going out and looking for casual sex,” Downing-Matibag said.
If women decide to be sexual, words like “easy” and “slut” are used, and if they don’t, words like “prude” and “bitch” are used.
“Some women are resisting that standard by claiming autonomy,” Downing-Matibag said.
In other words, women are saying they have a body and they can choose how to use or not use it.
Some women might not be so confident in why they choose to hook up.
“Popular media always sexualize women, so girls feel like they have to be sexy and should be having sex, and guys are totally fine with that,” Cate said.
The stereotypes aren’t just catered to women, though.
“There is a stereotype that men just want to have a bunch of sex and not have a relationship,” Hopper-Losenicky said.
When no one thinks of Tinder as a dating app, no one sees users in that light either.
“There are stereotypes these days that all girls today are sleeping around, or all men are just looking for sex,” Downing-Matibag said. “Men and women are being generalized. Because of the stereotype, people might just assume it as truth and overlook someone who actually wants a relationship.”
People go on Tinder already not looking for a relationship, expecting a hook-up.
“I would speculate that those who use Tinder are more promiscuous, maybe less committed to a relationship,” Krizan said.
If people aren’t going for what they truly want because they are afraid to be stereotyped or afraid to break the stereotype, they could lose confidence in themselves and others.
“I don’t personally lose respect for people who use Tinder, but I think that the users don’t have a lot of self-respect or high self-esteem,” said Anna Moore, sophomore in education at the University of Mississippi (a school that ranks in the top ten in both men and women swiped right, according to Tinder), who was visiting friends at Iowa State.
The stereotypes and the subsequent lack of promise for relationships give Tinder its own vibe.
“Tinder just feels forced and fake,” Moore said.
With the lack of a genuine experience comes a lack of respect.
“People are perhaps meaner or lack politeness because it’s possible you are never going to see your partner again,” Krizan said. “It definitely frees up a negative side of human behavior.”
Negative is not always bad, at least when it comes to safe sex and STI results.
“My roommate met a guy on Tinder and he wasn’t honest with her,” Moore said. “She ended up getting an STD. She’s lucky because it wasn’t one of the permanent ones.”
This issue lies in the lack of respect that might come with a casual encounter.
“On Tinder, there is no sexual history. You kind of just skip that step,” Moore said. “People don’t ask the questions that need to be asked and there are some major repercussions because of that.”
Safe sex is a huge issue as more people continue to join the hook-up culture.
“I did a study on the hook-up culture and one thing is clear: you guys need to be safer,” Downing-Matibag said. “Girls don’t carry condoms because of the double standard and guys don’t carry them because they don’t want to seem like all they want is sex.”
So what would mom think?
“I told my parents I met my girlfriend in Millennium Park [in Chicago],” Beekman said. “I did that because Tinder has very negative connotations among adults.”
Is it a whatever-works scenario, where you keep information from your parents?
“College students need to let their parents know about their relationships, but I think kids will tell their parents what mom and dad would be comfortable hearing,” Downing-Matibag said.
Many kids let their parents know they are sexually active, at least when it involves more of a relationship.
“Most parents don’t know what it means when their child is having sex. They assume that it involves a couple dating,” Downing-Matibag said.
The hook-up culture is difficult to explain to parents.
“I just wouldn’t want to explain that I met someone on Tinder to my family,” Moore said.
Many kids believe there is nothing wrong with casual sex.
“Everyone said the same thing in the study. They did it because I wanted to have fun or they thought their partner was attractive,” Downing-Matibag said. “One more conservative girl said she just wanted to try hooking up once before she left college.”
Not everyone feels that casual sex is a way students should conduct themselves.
“There are those who have more conservative values, many with religious values and then there are those that used Tinder for a while but just got burned out with it, and they are going to let others come to their senses,” Downing-Matibag said.
Right now it seems that Tinder is for that hook-up culture though, not for a long-term partner.
“My whole family has met their significant others elsewhere, not with Tinder,” Moore said. “I just want to meet someone in a normal and traditional way.”
But don’t rule out Tinder and other “hook-up” apps as the future of relationships.
“A lot of people still don’t know exactly what Tinder is,” Krizan said. “The internet has changed the way people are getting into relationships.”
Meeting through social media could eventually be the new normal.
“I feel like by the time people who met on Tinder are having kids, there will be enough of them that it will no longer be weird that that’s how they met,” Hopper-Losenicky said.