Editor’s note: This letter was published in the Des Moines Register on Wednesday. Cheyenne Shepherd is an attorney in Kokomo, Ind., and played for ISU coach Bill Fennelly in 1995-97. 

Dear Iowa State Fans,

My name is Cheyenne P. Shepherd. When I played at Iowa State from 1994 to 1997, my name was Cheyenne Palmer. From 1995 to 1997, I played for Bill Fennelly. I am writing this letter in support of Nikki Moody and the legal action she has taken against Bill Fennelly. I have never met her, and with the exception of sending her a Facebook message of support to which she did not respond, I have never communicated with her in any way. You probably don’t remember me and I am certain what I write below will not be popular with the majority of you. That being said, let me be clear about my career as a Cyclone: Bill Fennelly did not recruit me to Iowa State, however my senior year in high school, he did offer me a scholarship to play for him at Toledo; I did not play much at Iowa State; I was never a starter; and I played less my senior year than I did my junior year. In short, I had an average college career at best. Further, I transferred to Iowa State after leaving Drake due to conflict with the coach. I am not black. I am Cuban.

The majority of people voicing their opinion on Nikki Moody’s lawsuit are fervent supporters of Bill Fennelly. They comment in absolutes; such as, he “never” says anything negative or he “always” has his players’ best interests at heart. I am here to tell you that a team coached by Bill Fennelly cannot be discussed in absolutes. It can only be discussed as a dichotomy; between the favorites and the non-favorites. It is for this reason that I believe Nikki Moody; as well as those fans and players who support Bill Fennelly are all telling the truth.

I was assuredly NOT a favorite of Bill Fennelly. And he made sure I knew it every day, in every way. I was demeaned, berated, and embarrassed in front of others; he called me names and tried to make me feel worthless (by the grace of God, friends and family he never quite succeeded). I was not alone. There were others: six to be exact, not including one other, who fell from favored status during my senior season. Four of the six non-favorites were black. Two graduated with me and two transferred after the season.

I don’t know if Bill Fennelly is racist in the conventional sense, but I do know if you are not a favorite, he has no compunction about attacking you in racial terms. I witnessed it and others did as well. The truth of the matter is Bill Fennelly will attack a player he doesn’t like on any terms. I do not believe him to be evil, but he can be very cruel. I don’t believe he has any remorse, because he tells himself, and his team, he is doing it to make a player better. Those players that are favorites, take him at his word, because for them it’s true. He only pushes them to be better. However, those of us on the wrong side, the non-favorites, get pushed around simply because he can. He seems to take pleasure in it. I was not made better by Bill Fennelly on the floor or anywhere else. I am stronger for having survived him, but that’s about all I can say.

So, how can the former players supporting him be telling the truth? Because for them, he will do anything. He does consider them family. He does treat them with love and respect and he does help them believe in themselves. How can the fans supporting him be telling the truth as well? Because he always puts his best foot forward publicly. And because you, as a fan, only see what Bill Fennelly wants you to see. Nevertheless, there are others, like me, who have had a very different experience with Bill Fennelly. Please consider, before you attack Nikki Moody for what I’m certain you don’t understand, there may only be truth and no lies. For my part, I believe all the players and fans who have commented, including Nikki Moody. There is plenty of truth to go around.

Sincerely,

Cheyenne Shepherd (Palmer) #14